Doula Courses | Education | Doula
Sophie chats about birth plans after reading two very differing opinions about them recently. What are your thoughts about birth plans – a good or a bad thing? Does it empower you to consider your options, or create unrealistic expectations?
If you want to find a doula who will support you antenatally, help prepare a birth preferences/wishes and attend your birth then visit the Nurturing Birth Directory
Click here to watch Sophie’s video on preparing for a baby in your life and relationship
Pregnancy can be a truly wonderful time, your body is blooming and you’re looking forward to the day when you finally get to meet your beautiful new baby.
But pregnancy can also be an exhausting, confusing and downright scary time too! You’ve probably got a million and one questions and random thoughts running through your head every day. Stuff like…
Is my baby to big, or to small? Is it too small?
Should I breastfeed? How do you even breastfeed anyway? What if I can’t?
How do I want to give birth, and where? What are my options? What if something goes wrong?
Will I ever stop feeling nauseous? And my ankles… what’s going on there?!
Should I try hypnobirthing? Perhaps pregnancy yoga… or pregnancy massage? Pregnancy massage sounds nice, but is it safe?
A doula can help with all these things… and many more! She’s there to guide and support you on your pregnancy journey. She won’t tell you what to do, but she’ll make sure you know all your options and help you come to decisions that suit you and your baby best.
Despite the role having been around for hundreds of years, there’s often a bit of confusion about what a modern doula does and doesn’t do. Are they all tie-dye, peace charm wearing hippies who chant their way through your birth, incense in one hand, scented candle in the other?
No.
Do they replace or play the role of your midwife, doctor or husband during pregnancy and birth?
Definitely not.
Do they attend births? The whole birth – even if it’s 24 hours long and starts at 2am?
Yes they do!
We were curious about what women thought about the role of doula and the service we provide so we asked the question…
“What do you think a doula does?”
We got lots of lovely and interesting answers, from…
“A knowledgeable and kind person who helps a mother through the whole birth experience.”
and…
“It’s someone you hire to support you in birth and the lead up to the birth! Like a birthing partner, great if partner is not around, or just for extra support!”
To…
“I thought it was a posh name for a hired nanny.”
And…
“They’re all about home births, I don’t think a doula goes to hospital with you.”
So what does a doula actually do? And how could they help support you during pregnancy, birth and beyond?
Modern medicine means that women are surrounded by people from around the 12th week of their pregnancy, right up until birth. But usually these are all different people, in different professions, in different locations. All relying on the big pack of notes you’re carrying around to work out what’s best for you and your baby.
A doula provides continuous care from early in your pregnancy, right through to birth and sometimes afterwards too. She gets to know you and your growing bump very well!
Most doula-client relationships begin with an interview to make that you’re comfortable with your doula and their way of working. Once you’ve decided to hire a doula, head over to our doula directory listings to find one near you.
Invite your potential doula for a chat to see if you’re a good ‘fit’. Remember to ask about how long they work with clients for, what specialisms they may have (many doulas also provide pregnancy massage, breastfeeding support or a placenta encapsulation service) and how much they charge. Ask to see testimonials and talk about their existing birth experience.
You’ll see your doula at regular intervals during pregnancy and she’ll probably provide telephone and email support to. If you have a questions, worries or concerns your doula will provide guidance and support, sharing her knowledge and experience with you and pointing you towards more sources of knowledge so that you can make the best choices for you and your baby.
One of the most important things a doula does is provide emotional care and support – particularly useful if you face complications during your pregnancy or need to make a difficult decision, like opting for planned c-section because of potential health complications.
On that topic, your doula won’t abandon you if you decide to have a planned, or ask for an epidural or decide not to breastfeed. Doula’s aren’t there to judge and they’re not there to pressure you into things you don’t want to do. In fact, there are even doulas who provide specialist cesarean birth support.
As you approach your due date your doula will go ‘on call’ and will be available for you 24/7. Once you go into labour, she’ll attend your birth, providing you with reassurance, care and support. During the early stages of labour a doula will usually come to your home and then travel with you if you’re giving birth at a hospital or birthing unit.
If you go into labour suddenly and need to hurry into hospital, don’t worry, your doula will get there as soon as she (or he) can and stay with you until you’ve given birth and are happily settled with your baby.
Most doulas are total birth pros and although every birth is different, they can provide help and suggestions on comfort, positioning, pain relief and much more. If your partner is there, your doula will support them too. Helping them to be involved as much or as little as they feel comfortable with.
Once you’re home with your baby your doula will visit you at least once, usually to help you settle in to life as a new mum, answer any questions you might have (you’ll have loads!) and talk about the birth with you. This can be especially helpful if you had a challenging birth or needed to have an emergency caesarian birth. Research shows that a difficult birth can have a long-lasting and powerful effect on a mother’s physical and mental wellbeing. Having someone to talk to can really make a big difference.
So there you have it! The role of a doula in a nutshell. If you’re looking for a doula near you, start with a peek at our directory listings. There’s lots of doulas from around the UK and beyond, all approved by Nurturing Birth.
Last year Sophie wrote an open letter to magazine editor Natasha Pearlman after she shared in the mainstream press about her traumatic first birth experience. Now, a year later, Natasha is pregnant with her second baby and has shared her decision to have an elective caesarean birth in the Mail. Sophie discusses how doulas support women like Natasha and how, contrary to popular belief, doulas are able and willing to support caesarean births.
Click here if you would like to find a doula to support you through your birth experience
Click here if you would like to watch Sophie’s video on the World Health Organisation’s guidelines for a positive birth experience
Sophie talks about working with two clients who didn’t experience the birth they hoped for and had difficult early days. What are the challenges that come up – the change in expectations, the lack of time to process their experiences, the lack of professional support to listen. That’s where the postnatal doula comes in – giving space, time and a listening ear …
If you want to know more about postnatal doulas then visit www.nurturingbirth.co.uk
If you would like to find a postnatal doula click here
Click here to watch Sophie’s video on unrealistic expectations in the postnatal period
This week we had the pleasure of interviewing Jo Robertson, a birth photographer in Wales. In our chat I had the opportunity to ask Jo about her journey into birth photography, who uses a photographer during birth and what her ultimate ambition is. Plus, she gives a really good top tip for parents!
Click here to find out more about Jo and her business, Lillian Craze Birth Photography
We are thrilled that Nurturing Birth doula Natalie Meddings has published her book, How To Have a Baby! Here she shares some thoughts with us about the current birth situation
Messages about birth at the moment are over-miserable. Newly negative in a way that is troubling.
We’d got clear on it all once – several times to be fair – thanks to multiple maternity reviews and evidence-finding missions again and again confirming birth as safe. And yet all of a sudden and out of the blue, the cultural tide is yanking hard in the opposite direction.
Midwives are no longer permitted to talk about birth as normal; guidance on on how women might help themselves in labour is discouraged; at least once a week, the mainstream press regale us with the inherent danger and unpredictability of childbirth or the naivety/anti-feminism/selfishness of women who’s intention it is to trust their body.
Which makes doulas a precious resource. Along with Independent midwives, our professional autonomy and unquestionable freedom stands as a last little square of neutral space – our guardianship of plain truth, accurate facts and proportionately optimistic support something to prize.
It’s always been part of our job to signpost women to accurate information and to support our mothers with the choices that feel right for them. But with midwives muzzled, and the maternity ‘mood’ growingly bleak, what we offer has never been more important.
Some women will want to birth in the dark dim of their own bedroom; others will want medical options close at hand. But they can only know what is right for them if they are fully enabled to work from their own clean page.
And we can help them with that – showing them how to sidestep all the excessive pessisism and keep their confidence in tact with facts.
Like how amazing their body is to be building a whole human being from scratch. That labour is involuntary, and ‘in hand’ in the same way. By going over, and then over again how labour is an automatic process their body is designed for – a normal physiological need like sleeping going to the loo. It won’t always be easy for them to see it that way, not when they hears someone’s traumatic birth story, or see a terrifying portrayal of birth on the tv. But by digging into the democracy of female biology – understanding the universally in-built programme that is their body’s need to birth, they’ll discover something sound to trust – a safe and solid place true choices can be made from.
Natalie’s book How to Have A Baby – mother-gathered guidance on birth and new babies is out now and available on www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com
Sophie Brigstocke,
Nurturing Birth
Telephone: 07305 044482
Email: info@nurturingbirth.co.uk