Nurturing Birth

Doula Courses | Education | Doula

…here to nurture, inform and empower doulas and families

07305 044482 | info@nurturingbirth.co.uk

Blog

What experience do you need to be a doula?

By

It’s one of the most common questions we are asked at Nurturing Birth.

Do I need to have had children? Do I need to have a nursing or midwifery background? Do I need to have worked with families before? Do I need complementary skills/qualifications? Do I need to have experienced birth in a particular way? Do I need to have breastfed my babies? Do I need GCSE Maths?!

The answer to all of those is no! Being a doula is not about the certificates you hold or whether you have been through pregnancy or childbirth yourself. Doulaing is about being with families as they navigate their journey into parenthood, and you can guarantee that someone else’s journey won’t be the same as yours. There may be parallels, you may see similarities, but what you experienced and felt won’t be the same.

Sometimes, and maybe this will surprise some, it is those who haven’t experienced pregnancy, birth and parenting who find it easiest to step in to the doula role. They aren’t having to process their own experiences in order to be clear to support others. They can be truly present without being hampered by the “I did it this way” thoughts. If we think about it many Obstetricians and Midwives haven’t experienced birth – it doesn’t stop them being able to do their job competently and compassionately (in the majority of cases).

Unless you’ve spent your life in on a remote island with only trees for company you are likely to have many of the necessary qualities to be a doula – an ability to relate to people, to listen, to nurture and care. What we are able to do on our courses is help you to refine your natural doula qualities so that you go out in to the world full of compassion, with healthy boundaries, able to signpost and actively listen to your clients.

What more experience do you need?

If you want to chat to us about becoming a doula then send us an expression of interest and we can call you back. We love to nurture doulas right from the start of the journey, so don’t hesitate to get in touch.

5 important things that might be stopping you getting more doula bookings

By

Ok, so you’ve completed your Doula Course and your fabulous doula business is up and running! You’ve got yourself a business card, a fancy logo, leaflets and even a website. You’ve set up your Facebook page, registered your business with Google to get your SEO started and you tell all your friends and family about what you can do and how much you can help.

And then your first ever client books in, hurray! You’re off to a flying start. And then another and another….

But then… a lull.

You market yourself some more and you wait…

And wait…

You nab a few clients, but you notice that getting more doula bookings is becoming harder and harder.

You’re spending more and more time and money on marketing that isn’t bringing you enough clients.

You start to wonder… what’s gone wrong?

You stress and you worry. This self-employed malarkey is so much tougher than you thought it would be!

Don’t panic lovely doula. It doesn’t have to be like that. You have amazing talents; you just need to make a few tweaks to get those clients flowing into your booking diary.

To get you started, here are 5 important things that might be stopping you getting more bookings.

1. You’re throwing your net too wide

As the talented doula you are, you can probably help with many things, you might even offer other services such as placenta encapsulation or sleep consultancy BUT marketing yourself this way could actually be losing you clients. People tend to shop for one solution at a time so if you’re trying to sell them several at once then you risk overwhelming them. Coming across as a jack of all trades and a master of none might not be the best way to convince potential clients of your capability.

Getting more doula bookings comes down to three simple marketing rules… be super clear about who you want to help, what they are struggling with and how you can make it better.

If you offer multiple services, make sure your marketing of these is clear cut and not jumbled up together. Be mindful of what stage your potential client is at and focus on the service that best suits her needs at that time. Help her at the stage she is at NOW and save the upsells for later down the line.

Once a client has bought from you once they are much more likely to choose you over a competitor in the future. Get them booked in before you start to throw a list of services at them.

2. You’re focusing too much on the letters

So, your doula training and registration with professional bodies is SUPER important. But ironically, focusing on these in your marketing could actually be putting potential clients off. Your training and CPD is important because it’s what makes you the talented doula you are, but will clients really know what that training is? Or which of your long list of services they need to help them with their thing?

In most cases, all the client wants to know is that you can make them feel better.

Your training and qualifications is your toolbox. You carry it everywhere because it helps you to do your job. But it isn’t what makes you great at your job.

Think about it this way. Every doula out there is carrying around the same toolbox as you… So how are you going to stand out?

How are you going to take your clients from the place they are in now where they are feeling overwhelmed and under-supported (otherwise they wouldn’t be looking for a doula in the first place) to that place they wish they could be, where they feel informed, empowered and positive about pregnancy and birth.

That’s what you’re selling. A great way to do this is to feature customer testimonials and case studies in your marketing. These help your potential customer to recognise herself and her worries and start to see how you are the perfect doula to support her.

3. You’re expecting customers to jump too soon

You spend hours at your computer crafting that perfect Facebook post, you post it, you might even pay to boost it and you sit back and wait for all those new clients to get in touch… But nothing happens.

Is Facebook broken? Are you rubbish at marketing? Is anyone actually reading anything you post?

It might be that you are expecting clients to jump too soon.

Marketing is a journey. It’s so much more than just social media. It’s being on different social media platforms, it’s blogging, it’s having a website that connects with clients, it’s having case studies that showcase your excellent doula talents, it’s building your mailing list, and nurturing and building your relationships with potential clients and other local businesses.

All of these things help to lead potential clients to your diary.

So, posting on social media and then expecting that post to turn into paying clients is asking people to make a HUGE leap. You need to get those marketing steps in place so, through regular contact they can get to know you, like your stuff and trust that you are the person to help them. Only then will they make that booking with you.

4. You’re blending in, rather than standing out

Do you know how many doulas there are in your local area?

Let’s say there are loads… Does that mean you should give up and get a day job? Absolutely not! What it does mean is that you need to stand out in that sea of doulas, because if you blend in you will struggle to get clients to notice you.

The easiest way to start standing out is simply to be you. Yes, there are loads of doulas out there, but there is only one you. Potential clients can be drawn in or put off by your personality, the way you talk, the language you use, even the way you dress. You can’t attract everyone, so use your personal skills to really stand out to those who get you.

No more hiding behind a logo or a brand. Use photos of yourself in your social media and on your website. Create videos of you – yes, it’s scary but it’s a great way to stand out. Don’t be afraid to find and use your voice – there is no ‘right’ way to speak or be as a doula and every woman out there is looking for a doula that fits with who she is too! Your vibe attracts your tribe they say so if you are being you, you’re more likely to attract clients who really value what you do and how you work.

5. You’re staying local

As doulas we are often taught that the client relationship should be a face-to-face one, but that limits you to those people who live in your local area or align with your working hours.

Does all support need to be given face-to-face? If not, why limit yourself when there is a whole world of people out there who could benefit from your help? If you can’t provide a whole support package online then which services could you bundle up and offer remotely?

As well as remote consultations and support you might also consider creating online products; taking your doula skills and turning them into an online programme that clients can buy and use without you even needing to see them one-to-one.

Online products enable you to help more people and allow you to earn an income even when you’re not working. Yay!

So, no more struggling to fill your diary and build the business of your dreams! Just making a few tweaks to the way you work and market yourself could make a massive difference for you. Why not give it a try!

Why you should absolutely be blogging to promote your doula business (and how to get it right)

By

Let’s talk blogging…

We know, you’ve probably heard this one before right? Blogging is an essential part of your marketing strategy. But when you’ve got a million and one things on your to-do list, is blogging really worth it?

As a doula, working within a limited geographical area and with a limited number of clients, do you really need to be blogging? Isn’t it just a mammoth waste of time?

Absolutely not! And here’s why… 

Four reasons you should absolutely be blogging to promote your doula business

1. Blogging showcases your professional knowledge

Writing a regular blog that addresses common problems or queries your potential clients may have makes you look super profesh and helps to reassure them that you really know your stuff. This can be crucial if a reader is comparing several potential doulas. Blogging regularly helps to boost the know, like and trust factor of your website, increasing the chances of a potential customer getting in touch.

To make sure you’re blogging about the right topics start a file of subjects that you see pregnant women asking about or discussing. Your emails, social media and newspapers and magazines can all be great sources of information.

At the end of each blog make sure it’s easy for the reader to take the next step and get in touch. You could provide a call to action along with contact details, for example…

Have you been affected by xxx during your pregnancy? Get in touch to find out how I could support you. Email me: sophie@totallyawesomedoula.com

2. Blogging helps to boost your SEO

SEO is incredibly important for small local businesses. Put simply, if someone types ‘doula in Tewkesbury’ into Google and your website comes top of the results then there’s a really good chance that person will click on the link to your website (where, of course, the fabulous blog you just posted is ready to wow them!) Posting and (importantly) promoting a regular blog help your website rank higher in local search results.

Google spiders regularly crawl your website. When they find a new page or post they add this to their index. The first part is done; the rest is up to you.

You see indexing and ranking are two different things. When a potential customer types a query into Google they are essentially asking Google to show them all the results in the index that match their query. Now as you might imagine there can be hundreds even thousands of results for each query and ranking is how Google sorts them. Their goal is to show the most relevant and useful content first.

To show Google that your content is worth ranking you need to get eyes on it. The more the better. Each time you post a blog, be sure to promote it widely and if the subject matter is evergreen, keep promoting it on a regular basis.

>> Want to know more about SEO? Read our blog: Search Engine Optimisation – A TOTAL beginners guide!

3. Blogging ensures that your website/business looks active

Having a website is super important, but the problem is that you can never really tell how old a website is, or how active. There are thousands of abandoned blogs and websites out there, so how can a customer tell if yours is up-to-date? Posting a regular blog is one way of letting potential customers know that you are actively promoting yourself. Find a blogging routine that suits your business lifestyle, even if it’s just once a month.

4. Blogging gives you much more to talk and post about on social media

Do you sometimes struggle with what to post on social media? You’re not alone. It can be super tough to think up fresh ideas for your social channels, but blogging provides a regular source of interesting content. It’s super simple to turn your blog into dozens of social media posts. Here’s how…

Let’s take this blog for example, we might…

  • Post a quick video letting our followers know we published a new blog and why we’ve chosen to cover this topic on Instagram.
  • Write a post with a quick intro and link to the blog on Facebook.
  • Create a series of memes, each one focusing on an individual tip and post them on Facebook and Instagram.
  • Pull out key sentences and use them as tweets.
  • Use the blog topic as a social conversation starter, and ask our doulas how often they blog and why.

So what do you say? Are you ready to start blogging to promote your doula biz? You can do it!

Self-Care for Doulas – Taking care of you, so you can take care of them…

By

It’s been a hectic few months here at Nurturing Birth HQ. Our busy little team have taught Doula Preparation Courses across the UK and Europe, mentored dozens of doulas, recorded several Facebook Live sessions, run a free- 5-day online course, scheduled in over 360 social media posts, added more doula preparation courses to our calendars, planned two retreats, attended dozens of conferences and events, raised teenagers, cooked meals, driven school runs, survived school holidays and moved homes.

Phew!

When you take into account the huge amount of tasks you have to fit into running a home, family and business it’s no surprise how little time we women have to look after ourselves? It’s easy to put self-care on the back-burner when everything else seems so urgent. Especially when you’re on call!

“Long births can really take it out of you. For me it often feels like jet lag – my body likes sleep and regularity, so doesn’t deal with lengthy births particularly well! After a long birth I need to be gentle with myself – often I don’t sleep well immediately, but the second night tends to be really good and deep. In the meantime I eat well, re-hydrate, take a bit of exercise (usually a good walk in the fresh air) and nurture myself with a long bath or a massage.” Sophie Brigstocke, Nurturing Birth

But you can’t give from an empty cup… So if you’re stuck in a bit of a rut when it comes to your health and your happiness, this months blog  is packed with wellbeing tips that are quick, easy and effective. Starting with what we consider to be two of the most important steps in leading a vibrant, healthy fulfilled life…

Firstly… Get moving!

People weren’t designed to sit still. Movement improves posture, increases oxygen to our brain and gets us out and about. Moving around also helps to get us thinking more clearly too so if you are feeling uninspired or stuck with a problem; take a walk.

Walk to work, run up the stairs, make phone calls standing up, play chase with the kids, play your favourite song and dance along, do a quick 10-minute yoga video on YouTube, walk the dog or meet friends for a walk rather than sit down for a coffee. When we are moving we are less likely to eat rubbish, spend hours watching things we don’t particularly want to watch anyway and put on weight. 

Regular movement has even been shown in studies to improve some kinds of depression.

Moving is free, easy and available to us all. So let’s try and do a little more of it.

Second, practice gratitude. Our brain is much like a computer in some ways; if we load it with a program which says ‘things will go badly, I never have any luck, I can’t find enough clients, life is awful’, then it often produces results that prove that program. It’s like some sort of negative self fulfillment!

So make sure you load your doula brain with a positive program. There may be some days when this feels impossible, but try to pay attention first of all to the things you take for granted; did you have enough food to eat today, are you healthy, do you have a client or two?  Also, you don’t just have to proud of yourself for big achievements; what about the way that you kept your cool when someone cut you up on the school run this morning, or the way that you manage to juggle so much and still have time for your friends and loved ones? 

The more we focus on what we appreciate and are grateful for, the more we will get to be grateful for, because our brain will notice more of those things and fewer of all the things we used to complain about.

We conducted a poll and asked our lovely Nurturing Birth doulas how they de-stress, relax and rejuvenate themselves… here’s what they had to say…

What’s in your bag?

By

What to put in your bag for a birth is a question that comes up a lot both on parenting forums and in doula groups.  I’m very aware of it on forums for doulas – it’s most often asked by a really keen, excited, nervous new doula busy preparing to go out for the first time and wanting to be ready.  Every time I see the question I have a little smile to myself because the replies always seem to follow a similar format.

Usually the first response will come from another relatively new doula who is spending lots of time on the groups absorbing as much information as she can, asking lots of questions, interacting, networking.  A long list of must-have items will be given including:

Spare knickers, toothbrush and paste, snacks, something for massaging a client, phone charger, parking money … all very valid suggestions.

There might be a reply from someone who has a huge bag of tricks – takes everything from a change of clothes to the kitchen sink, who is known for lugging duvets and beanbags around birth centres. 

And then the final response is usually from a long-time doula who will generally say something like:

Phone, car keys, hairband, money … or, whatever I have in my hand when I get the call!

Some doulas don’t have a dedicated bag, though many have spent hours looking for the perfect carry-all – with compartments or wheels to make trundling through hospitals or on the night bus home that bit easier.  Ultimately it comes down to you – you do what feels right for you, but what I would encourage any doula to consider is this question – who is taking responsibility for the birth?  

I spend far more time talking to my clients about what they think they will need for birth, because if they invest time in thinking about what they might need then they are engaging with the feelings that come up around birth, and what might make it a more positive experience for them.  Something that I think looks, feels or smells lovely might not resonate with them, so it is far more important that the family in question source what feels right for them. 

However, experience of being in the birth room over more than ten years has taught me some valuable lessons, so here are a just a few of the things I think worth considering having when preparing for your birth, and none of them require an expensive shopping trip!

  1. A large dark-coloured towel.  There is nothing worse than having a shower during or after birth and having to dry yourself on something the size of a tea-towel which feels like it’s made of cardboard – you want something soft, familiar and cosy on your body.  A dry towel can double up as a blanket – something warm to place round a labouring woman’s shoulders if she feels chilly or a bit shaky in the transition stage or immediately after the baby has arrived.  A comfortable towel/blanket over a pairing of new mother and baby, or partner and baby, protects skin-to-skin contact which is so important in those first few minutes, hours and days.  
  2. A pillow from home in an old pillow case.  The word that comes to mind for NHS pillows is “minimal”, or if I am being unkind “stingy”. In labour we sometimes need to create a cosy nest for the body – pillows can be a prop between the legs to make the hips feel more comfortable and encourage opening; they provide a soft cushion to rest into if we are trying to shut out the light of the room; they can provide a comfortable resting place for the arms or elbows if we are in forward-leaning positions e.g. on the cistern of the toilet if we are sitting facing the wall; they can be a useful elbow/arm support if we are feeding our babies; they can support a weary head after a long labour.  The most basic of comforts can provide the greatest relief.  Sometimes the birth partner might need to kip in a less-than-comfortable spot so having a pillow can make a world of difference. Having your own pillow is a reminder of home – it has familiar smell and look to it, rather than being clinical and cold.  
  3. A bendy straw. I’m not an advocate for plastic – in fact I am doing everything I can do avoid single-use plastics – but a bendy straw is invaluable.  I have noticed so many times how much effort is seems to take a woman who is labouring to lift her head to take a sip from a bottle or a cup – to put a straw to someone’s lips for her to be able to draw a few drops of water or other drink keeps her hydrated (which is so important for energy in birth).  You can now buy metal, reusable or even bamboo straws so hit the search engines and see what you can find.  I have to remind myself to drink plenty during a birth too, so a non-spill portable mug is one of my essentials.
  4. A hair band – I have long hair and usually find that I need to put my hair up and out of the way during birth – but often so do labouring women – hair in your face can be annoying, sweaty, uncomfortable.  
  5. Lip balm – hospitals especially seem to be quite dry environments – hot, dehydrating and if a labouring woman is really focussing on her breathing, expending a lot of effort or using gas and air her lips can get really dry.  A touch of balm can feel really wonderful.  I tend to have an unperfumed massage balm which has multiple uses – as lip balm, moisturiser and massage wax.  
  6. Food is essential for birth – for labouring women, for their partners and for doulas – none of us function well if we don’t have energy.  I’ve known a birth completely change direction once two tired, unfed partners went out for a quick half hour pizza, fresh air and freshen up. One client of mine ate hard boiled eggs (not my cup of tea) and another sucked chocolate buttons through her labour. Many women love fresh fruit – a piece of mango, some grapes – easy, fresh, available natural sugars.  Sweets or honey sticks are popular too.
  7. Something comfortable to wear – birth is not a fashion parade and you don’t need to go out and buy something especially – again, it’s about familiarity, comfort and ease.  It is worth saying that it is definitely not obligatory to wear a hospital gown. For someone birthing in a pool a bikini, or underwear, is fine if you don’t feel comfortable with nudity.  After birth the ideal is to have as much skin-to-skin with your baby as possible, so a large shirt is great, or anything that is easy-to-open.  Many forums suggest buying disposable paper knickers – my experience was that they were totally grim and I think would be whatever type of birth you have – investing in a multi-pack of cheap, really big, cotton pants feels a bit more humane – again, it’s all about feeling comfortable.  Blood loss continues for a few weeks after birth for the majority of women so choosing dark colours rather than pristine whites and investing in plenty of maternity sanitary pads is a good idea.   Partners can often get really hot in hospital settings, so perhaps consider a change or two of t-shirt/tops.
  8. Phone chargers. We don’t seem to be able to exist without our devices these days and during birth they can serve a number of functions – your playlist of music or visualisations/meditations, as a camera for the first of what will be thousands of photos and films,  SatNav for the quickest route to the birth centre or hospital etc.  After the birth you will, no doubt, want to tell the world that your baby has arrived (though I generally encourage the golden hour or uninterrupted family time – skin to skin, initiation of feeding, resting after the birth, rehydrating etc) so, battery time is going to be needed!  

There are, of course, many other things that you could or might want to take to a birth, but this is my core list.  I’m interested to hear what your favourite thing you brought with you was?  What would you consider invaluable?    

Click here to watch Sophie chatting about birth plans

Go to www.nurturingbirthdirectory.com to find a doula to support you through your pregnancy and birth

The bad baby!

By

In amidst the joy of seeing a new family together earlier this week there was a moment that jarred for me, the question put to Harry and Meghan about whether their baby was “good”. It’s one that crops up a lot and it begs a question … is there such a thing as a bad baby?

I recently attended a brilliant conference in Plymouth – an entire day spent in the company of some of my most esteemed colleagues in the breastfeeding world.  It left me on something of an oxytocin high and yet again considering what more I can do to support new families.  A topic that we at Nurturing Birth focus on a lot is the power of language and how it can radically affect parents during pregnancy and in the early days with newborns.  Every speaker at the conference talked about the type of language used, typical questions asked and behaviour of people around new parents, often undermining them unintentionally.  Take the aforementioned “is he a good baby” question asked all the time, often by random strangers when they coo over your offspring in the supermarket, coffee shop or park.  What it is interpreted by most to mean is “does he sleep through the night?”  And the answer for most parents, because their baby is entirely normal, is no, which can lead to shame, lack of confidence and insecurity.  Parents begin to doubt themselves and their parenting ability, rather than trusting their instincts and reading their baby’s cues.   Amy Brown, Professor at Swansea University, who is particularly interested in breastfeeding rates in the UK and how sharply ours nosedive compared to many of our international counterparts made me laugh out loud when she said her stock response to the good baby question now is “he’s ok this week, but last week I had to bust him out of prison twice!”  

I started to write down some of the words associated with babies and breastfeeding during the day – lazy, diva, malco, fussy, spoilt, cranky – all judgments on a baby and their behaviour as if they are deliberately being naughty or difficult for not feeding well or sleeping as much as we would like.  But, how often is it that a baby is demonstrating innate newborn behaviour that is being misunderstood?  Babies sleep patterns are totally different from those of adults, plus they have tiny tummies that need filling on a very regular basis, so it is expected that they will wake often and feed frequently.  No wonder Harry and Meghan were welcomed to the “Sleep Deprivation Society” by a tired older brother with three children under the age of 6! 

Back at the conference I was introduced to babies being described as piranhas or vipers and I felt my own nipples fast-tracking towards my ribcage – what woman would begin to think about putting their baby to the breast if they were described that way? We all want to protect our bodies – as Amy rightly said we wouldn’t be seeking out the table we stubbed our toe on again to deliberately open up the wound would we?  Nipple pain in feeding has become something regarded as normal, but perhaps we should change that word for common – not normal – it is not normal to have cracks, damage, bruising – our bodies are not designed to be deliberately damaged in the process of “normal” mammalian behaviour. 

So, what do I want to see going forward?  Firstly, let’s stop blaming babies.  They are brand new human beings without agenda other than having their needs met.  Let’s stop undermining parents’ confidence and ultimately, let’s start thinking about how we can help, rather than sitting in judgment.  Let’s give parents practical and emotional support so that they can focus in on the all-important job of bonding with their babies. Let’s try and support new parents to recognise their babies’ needs and respond appropriately, by signposting evidence-based information, such as that shared by Amy Brown and Lyndsey Hookway at the conference.  Doulas are brilliant at that – supporting in all aspects – emotionally, practically and with relevant up-to-date information.  Let’s hope that every new parent, including Harry and Meghan, surrounds themselves with the right people in these precious first few days and weeks because let’s not forget that when a baby is born so are parents.  

Click here to watch Sophie’s video blog on unrealistic expectations in the postnatal period

Click here to find a Nurturing Birth doula in your area