A positive mindset is one of those things that takes time and concerted effort to develop – it’s not enough to simply be aware of the fact you have a certain mindset issue, like fear or negative self-talk, it’s important to constantly challenge the way you think.
You see, starting your own doula business, is an incredibly rewarding journey to take, but often it’s far from simple or easy. Building a successful working career is a challenge, but doing it on your own terms, in your own way, presents a whole new set of challenges!
And here’s the vital killer… we’re often a lot harder on ourselves than we should be, frequently berating and belittling ourselves for our perceived failures, whilst usually minimising our successes.
Mindset is a funny thing, but there are four key areas I’ve noticed that people struggle with. Individually they can be an issue. When you have to contend with more than one at a time they can be utterly crippling.
However, master these mindsets and you’ll be well on your way to reaching your full, genuine potential…
Mindset Issue #1: Having A Fixed Outlook Rather Than A Growth Mindset
Do you view the world with a fixed outlook, or with a growth mindset? Here’s how to find out… If you find yourself encountering problems in your work, relationships, and personal life you will likely react in one of two ways:
- This is just the way it is, I either have to live with it, or remove myself from the situation (i.e. find a new job, end my relationship, find new friends, give up that hobby, etc.)
- This is just an obstacle to overcome, and once I’m on the other side of it everything will be better/easier.
The former is known as a ‘fixed outlook’, and is characterised by the belief that certain things in life are set. The latter perspective is a ‘growth mindset’, the perception that all things can and do change, develop, and grow.
A fixed outlook holds you back from reaching your potential, because there are self-imposed boundaries you never truly strive to break, simply because you believe they are unbreakable. A growth mindset holds that where there is life, there is growth, and therefore your level of success, happiness and achievement can continue to expand and evolve for the whole length of your life.
Which is pretty awesome, right?
Mindset Issue #2: Approval Seeking
Approval seeking is a habit we begin in childhood. You do something for the first time and instinctively look to an authority figure to tell you you’re on the right track, reassure you, and give you confidence.
We naturally carry this habit into adulthood and often repeat the pattern with authority figures, particularly with those we respect and admire.
And it’s an understandable impulse. The problem is that when you seek approval for everything you do in your business, you’re actually undermining your own ability, success and potential.
You never learn to trust your gut. You second guess everything you do. And when you can’t get a second opinion (or you’re too nervous to ask for one) you’re more likely to hold yourself back and pass over opportunities for fear they’re the wrong move.
Worse still, you might seek approval from the wrong people. Great Aunty Pat means well but she probably doesn’t understand your business. Other people may give you advice based on what would be right for them, but that isn’t right for you.
Mindset Issue #3: Social Envy
The rise and rise of social media has given us all a bit of an obsession with the way we appear online, and the way other people appear too.
In our personal lives we may find ourselves envious of the picture-perfect selfies or astonishing holiday snaps our friends share. We forget that people only show the best moments of their lives on social media, and often tweak those images to make them as perfect as possible.
We can easily do this in business too, coveting the number of followers a fellow doula has or how many people are liking and commenting on their stuff, how great their memes look, and the awesome YouTube channel they’ve got going on. But these snapshots are just as carefully chosen as the images our friends share.
So when venturing into the treacherous waters of social media, do remember, everything you see there is (to some extent) a performance.
Mindset Issue #4: Lack Of Self-Belief
Success in business hinges on your ability to believe you’re actually capable of doing it. Many of us carry fears and worries that it’s going to be more than we can handle, or that we will ultimately fail.
A little self-doubt is perfectly natural, but if you’ve ever heard the expression ‘thoughts become things’ you will have an idea of why self-doubt can be so detrimental.
When you’re perpetually thinking you will fail, you will more than likely fail. Not because you’re a failure, but because you’re expecting it to happen and reacting as if it already has.
When you’re convinced you can succeed, and that success is inevitable, you will act and react completely differently. If you’re convinced that you can totally do this (and you can!) then success will come.
Need a little help with creating your positive mindset? Consider working with a mentor to build your self-belief, sharpen your focus and over come challenges. Why not find out more about the Nurturing Birth Doula mentoring program for beginner and experienced doulas. Click here to discover more about doula mentoring
