• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Nurturing Birth

Doula Courses | Education | Doula

  • Follow Nurturing Birth on Twitter
  • Follow Nurturing Birth on Facebook
  • Follow Nurturing Birth on Instagram

…here to nurture, inform and empower doulas and families

07305 044482 | [email protected]

  • Home
  • What is a Doula?
  • About
  • Doula Training Courses
    • Expansive Course
    • Intensive Course
    • Distance Doula Course
    • Upcoming Courses
    • Costs and Payments
  • Mentoring
    • Mentors
    • Becoming a mentor
  • Blog
  • Find a doula
  • Retreat Days
  • Contact

Sam Sheppard

Sam Sheppard: Why I trained to be a doula

May 10, 2022

Photo of Sam Sheppard. Sam is a white woman with blonde hair. She has a floral tattoo on her hand and arm. She's wearing a black top and is smiling. This article tells her story of why she came to train to be a doula.

Sam Sheppard is a doula based in Chelmsford, Essex, and is known as The Unapologetic Doula 😉 This is the story of why she decided to train to be a doula.

I’m primarily a birth doula, but I also do postnatal work from time to time. I think, actually I know, that I tend to limit how much postnatal work I do because I hold emotional energy pretty deeply, and work hard at processing it all. Being with a family for an intense period of time, as is typical with postnatal work, takes a lot out of me, so birth work I can moderate a little more clearly. I know that I need to protect my space. Does that sound too far out?! I don’t know! But seriously, it works for me, and that’s the point – you can be the doula you want to be, and offer the services that work best for you.

I actually only heard about doulas in September 2008, 7 days before I did the Nurturing Birth training! I’d never even heard of doulas until a friend from school mentioned it. Before having my own two children I worked as learning support for children with extra needs in an infant school. Then I had my two 18 months apart and took time away from employment. When they started school I went back to work and realised I didn’t want to do it anymore. I then injured my back and saw it as a sign and left!

I had become really interested in birth because my births were really different and I saw the importance of the right support, right from the off. The first birth was quite traumatic and it really didn’t need to be. I had a pretty narky midwife who treated me like I was a bit like a child who needed directing, think Charles Dickens! It was ridiculous looking back. I felt railroaded down a certain path. Feeling out of control led to me not having an ideal time, and the postnatal period was just as crappy…despite me convincing other people that I was coping fine. Hiding postnatal depression (although in hindsight I now think it was PTSD) was easy. My house was clean and tidy, cakes were baked and I would smile and coo when I needed to. Until I was alone.

Anyway that’s another story…but I feel it’s important to know that we all have ‘stuff’. Becoming a doula doesn’t mean you to have had the ‘perfect’ experiences.. whatever they are!!

We’re all working through own ‘stuff’ continually… we find our way through, with the right people around us. Actually, training to be a doula, and mentoring after the doula training, includes a massive amount of working through our experiences (birth related or not) that mean that we can come to support families and put our own stuff to one side, and not let it influence us. Many people find this part of doula training to be revolutionary to their lives.

I’d not been to any births other than my own before I trained to be a doula. For me, the drive was that I really wanted to support women. I’ve no real interest in babies, much to everyone’s amusement (I think they believe you’re a doula because of babies…what’s that about 😊) No, it’s about women for me. They are why I became a doula. I saw how language and people can really affect your birth. Those present make or break it. I know it sounds extreme but you’re super susceptible to other people’s feelings, words, energy and motivations when birthing and beforehand. Birth brings so much out of people. So many stories and beliefs about what birth ‘should’ (flippin’ heck I dislike that word!) be like. But most of what’s told to pregnant women and people is based on people’s owns fears, their own beliefs that they need validated, or wishes they had for a birth but didn’t have. So it’s very often not about the birthing woman or person at all and yet it still affects them as they’re the one hearing all of the offloading of others.

I love doulaing. But what I most love is seeing people step into their power. OK – that sounds cliched but it’s true. Seeing people go from undecided and unaware, to finding their feet and trusting their instincts, knowing that they know what they need, that their opinion is the only one that truly matters and that they have the strength within them to chose what’s right for them… It really is magical. When you see that glow, that extra height they have because they stand a little taller, that focus and self-belief, it’s bloody brilliant. Honestly, gives me goosebumps. I always feel emotional talking about it because it really is mind-blowingly brilliant.

I wish everyone could see the brilliance in every pregnant woman or person; the brilliance and strength that I see within them. Just creating a bit of space for them to breathe and process…oh that can change everything! And this isn’t just about birth. For me this is about life in general.

Could you imagine if every decision that people had to make was met with respect, space, time and love? What changes would we make! It’s something I’m really passionate about actually. Over the years I’ve seen that this isn’t just about birth. I mean it is, in that birth affects everyone…no matter where you’re from, what background, race or culture. We all see it at some point. But those skills that you learn as a doula, they affect everything, every part of our lives.

It never ceases to amaze me. When it stops amazing me, I need to quit 😉

I also want to honour the fact that birth isn’t a wanted experience by everyone. I’ve doulaed for people making the decisions to not keep their pregnancy for reasons which are right for them. I admire and respect the strength and intuition of those making this decision. I feel that these women have also shown me a great deal in what it is to truly listen to our needs, to be mindful about what’s right for us, to move forward with a difficult decision knowing deep down it’s the right one. I feel for people going through it alone…there’s no shame and yet there’s a real stigma around feeling shame that needs to be broken down.

Much as I love being a doula, it’s not all perfect. There are challenges. The NHS is unravelling swiftly and with all the good will in the world it’s hard to stay focused and strong. I’m becoming more and more disillusioned and it really both saddens and angers me in equal measures. In fact it breaks my heart – for those working within the system, but more importantly, those using the service. Doulas have never been more desperately important and needed as they are now.

I do hope, in the future, that every birth is revered as it should be. The western culture is that we (mostly) need to crack on and act like nothing has happened. Have the perfect home, birth, get back into normal clothes as quickly as possible, make our own food with organic veg grown in our gardens, run our own businesses, make homemade gifts and stay smiling…whilst having a new baby. We need to stop, just stop and see the beauty, the magic, the freaking brilliance of all that is surrounding birth and those that birth!! It blows my mind, honestly it does. We keep humanity going, our bodies change and internal organs shift to accommodate that little new life and then shifts back…what’s not to freakin’ celebrate and honour!!

So there we have it. Part of me thinks everyone should train to be a doula, JUST to see the importance and amazing abilities we have when it comes to creating humans. To see the physiology. To learn the absolute importance of listening; to truly listen. To see the transformations and to understand that emotion isn’t a weakness, but a strength. To understand what our emotions are telling us and how we can work with them. To honour ourselves because we are amazing.


If you are looking for a doula in Essex,

Sam is The Unapologetic Doula on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_unapologetic_doula/

And on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doulasamsheppard

Do you want to train to be a doula? Here’s the link to Nurturing Birth’s doula training courses: https://nurturingbirth.co.uk/doula-training-courses/

Filed Under: About Doulaing, Training to be a Doula Tagged With: doula in Chelmsford, doula in Essex, Sam Sheppard, train to be a doula, Training to be a doula

A New Hope

May 4, 2021

By Sam Sheppard

It’s the 4th May: International Star Wars Day. May the Fourth be with you.

Have you ever thought how the links between the hope, positivity, and community of the Star Wars films overlap with those within the birth world? The Force is like our instincts – we can all be guided by our own needs if we stop and listen to what our bodies are actually telling us and not to unwanted advice.  Our patience and just ‘being’ is enough – in fact it’s more than enough.

In ‘The Force Awakens, Rey tells us that she knows ‘all about waiting’. As do doulas. Being able to wait and be guided by the people we support is one of our greatest gifts.  Being able to truly listen, the other. How many people often feel truly heard? When you are, how positive do you feel after?

[Read more…] about A New Hope

Filed Under: About Doulaing, Doula Mentoring, Pregnancy, Birth, Postnatal and Infant Feeding, Training to be a Doula Tagged With: birth affirmations, doula, Doula mentoring, May the Fourth, Sam Sheppard, Star Wars Day

What joining a Nurturing Birth course FEELS like

August 27, 2020

By Sam Sheppard, Nurturing Birth Facilitator

Sam Sheppard

“Sophie, at each course, spoke about what we tell ourselves and what we can let go of.  It gave much thought to all, including me.”  

I’ve been thinking a lot recently … don’t panic, I didn’t hurt myself!  Over the last few months I’ve been super lucky to have been co-facilitating the Distance Doula Course with Sophie and I’ve really enjoyed it.  No, actually I’ve loved it.  I’ve loved the new excited faces at the start of their journey. I’ve loved seeing women connect, connect in ways I wasn’t totally sure I’d witness to the extent that we did, over Zoom… I’ve loved seeing and feeling the excitement, passion, nerves – the overflowing emotional moments unfolding as the doulas bloomed and realised not only could they do it, but that they had been doing it over the week.  They were doulas!

Now the beauty of these courses, like with the birthing women or people that we support, is that not only did they feel like they were learning and experiencing new things, but I did too. I learnt so much.  Watching the invigorating conversations, the questioning, the beliefs and support they all organically flowed with, the highs and lows of the week as everyone became more comfortable and trusting of their companions … Wow!  What a gift to behold.  The strength of community, of that village, never ceases to amaze me.  How it can raise and support, how it can nurture and challenge. All the while holding that sacred safe space.  It’s truly inspiring and it’s given me so much joy I can’t quite describe it. 

I’ve also loved the transitions. The transition from “Hmmmm can I even do the course” to “Ooh crikey I can actually do this“.  There’s a gentle, sometimes rapid, unravelling of thoughts and long-held beliefs.  It’s amazing what we can tell ourselves, and it’s also amazing how differently we can look to others. Sophie, at each course, spoke about what we tell ourselves and what we can let go of.  It gave much thought to all, including me.  

Now those that follow me know I’m pretty unapologetic about being me.  They also know I’m not one to follow the crowd and seem quite confident in my being.  But, I’ve held on to the belief that I can’t write and I can’t do podcasts … hmmm now I’m not about the “can’t”, so I’ve been looking at what this is about and where it came from, and have shifted into the “doing something about it” phase.  So, here’s the first tick (yes, I’m smug – I even put my hand up to offer to write one of the weekly emails for Sophie over the holidays…I did panic a bit). The next tick is a podcast I’m guesting on this week. Don’t ask me what I’m talking about yet.  Small steps, right?

The reason for my rambling is that we never stop learning, growing, reflecting or adapting.  Life is always shifting – it has to. We never arrive.  We never get there.  Once we’re there another target comes to light, another feeling needs exploring, another trigger needs addressing, our bodies need more/less rest, a change in food, a challenge that takes action, something else needs reflection, or a change in perspective maybe.  It’s all about the journey, right?

So what journey are you on and how’s it looking? 
Much love
Sam
x

Sam is a Nurturing Birth facilitator and also a doula herself.

 

Filed Under: Training to be a Doula Tagged With: Doula training, Nurturing Birth Doula, Sam Sheppard, Training to be a doula

Footer

Award winning Doulas

MAMA Awards 2017 - DOULA OF THE YEAR​ Winner - Sophie Brigstocke, Nurturing Birth

MAMA Awards 2017
DOULA OF THE YEAR​

Sophie Brigstocke,
Nurturing Birth

Nurturing Birth Twitter

Good perinatal mental health is crucial always, but during a pandemic it should have extra focus https://t.co/jgZGxjwkIT
- Wednesday Jul 8 - 1:12pm

A member of

   

Get in touch

  • Follow Nurturing Birth on Twitter
  • Follow Nurturing Birth on Facebook
  • Follow Nurturing Birth on Instagram

Telephone: 07305 044482
Email: [email protected]

Images by Jaha Brown

Copyright Nurturing Birth © 2022 | Privacy and Cookies Policy | Terms and Conditions |All Rights Reserved

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT