Nurturing Birth

Doula Courses | Education | Doula

…here to nurture, inform and empower doulas and families

07305 044482 | info@nurturingbirth.co.uk

Blog

To all Midwives everywhere, Thank you!

By Sue Bryant

Musings on Midwifery life: On International Midwives’ Day, Susan Bryant shares her story of being a midwife who has now trained to be a doula.
Since qualifying as a post graduate midwife in 1988 I thrived on the variety of work that was the midwife’s role. Rotating around the various specialities of Delivery Suite, Antenatal ward, postnatal and community setting meant that we kept up to date with the service as a whole.

I enjoyed the pace in delivery suite, with the excitement of not knowing what the shift may bring. We had some frantic day and night shifts but also some long, quiet nights when we could talk and get to know our colleagues- often becoming slightly crazy at the 5am witching hour! Tea and toast together at 6 was a time to pause, collect ourselves and regroup, although this particular part of a night shift soon became forgotten the busier we became.

I also loved working within the community setting. I worked as a team midwife in a trial our hospital was doing to provide women and people with a small core team of midwives and care assistants who would provide Continuity of Care throughout the whole pregnancy and into the postpartum period.

Seeing women and families in their own environment, where I would be the guest in their home, gave me an insight into their lives. They were not simply pregnant, they had responsibilities, problems, jobs, lives fulfilled by other things apart from their pregnancies.

My favourite place of work was within the midwifery–led birth unit. We treated the unit as though it was a welcome home for all the folk that came to birth there. All of the midwives and support workers were absolutely devoted to the running and upkeep of the unit. We had pride in our work and our space. We acknowledged the need for calm spaces, for empowerment of everyone who birthed there, and for diversity of choice.

So why did I leave Midwifery?
In 2014, I relocated to Abu Dhabi with my husband, taking a sabbatical from work with the agreement of a 5-year return period if I wished.

In order to maintain my Registration as a midwife I would return to the UK every few months to work. However, it became increasingly difficult to stay up to date and current due to the travel involved plus the changes in services and guidelines for staff. It was a balancing act which eventually had to end. It all came to a head after a traumatic emergency experience I had when I returned to do some shifts one time. In the interest of confidentiality, I cannot be explicit about the situation, but it made me reassess my life as a Midwife from then on.

So, I returned to Abu Dhabi full of doubt about my future as a birthworker.

Discovering Doulas!
During my time in Abu Dhabi, I trained as a Yoga teacher and taught pre-natal yoga and hypnobirthing as a speciality. Because of my midwifery experience I was asked to be a Doula a few times for hypnobirthing clients and yoga students. I thoroughly enjoyed helping them prepare antenatally and attending the births as their Doula although this was not without challenges for me. Because of my midwifery skills and knowledge, some situations where the care given was not as I would have done were challenging. I found it hard to ‘sit on my hands’ and just be rather than do. I soon realised that to serve birthing women and people better I should look into doula training.

I researched into several Doula courses and by far the one that stood out to me most was Nurturing Birth.  I spoke to Michelle Every from the NB team before deciding to take the course. She was really patient and helpful. She gave me space to consider if it was right for me and I knew that if I trained with NB I would get genuine ‘in person’ support to learn and grow as a doula.

I completed the Distance training in November 2020. I really enjoyed each and every day meeting up with fellow trainees, having breakout sessions to discuss topics and really felt Sam and Sophie were investing time and energy in our journey. The pre and post course work was set at a high standard that was challenging and rewarding. I found it cathartic to think about my own pregnancies and births, laying some ghosts of the past to rest through reflection. Studying and learning via Zoom was very convenient and did work well, although nothing replaces in-person training!

Facing Challenges
Over and above everything, the biggest challenge I am facing is that of a self-employed, self-promoting and self-governing Doula practitioner. Coming from the NHS and having details like contracts, advertising, taxes, insurances etc all taken care of by HR and now navigating my way through these areas I’ve not been involved with before is at times overwhelming.

Doula work can be quite a lonely job without the camaraderie that exists between colleagues working closely together. This is where Nurturing Birth has really been fantastic for me. I have an experienced doula mentor who is with me through this venture, giving support and helping me find my own way. She’s been like a life coach, a friend and a wise woman whose humour and honesty is keeping me enthusiastic, yet also grounded and realistic.

I also join the Nurturing Birth virtual cuppa support group every Wednesday on Zoom. I cannot tell you how beneficial that is! We discuss topics and challenge ourselves and each other to look at our practice, to always ask questions and to learn and grow.

I now have my first booking as a birth/complete package Doula and I’m excited to really get started as an independent birth Worker.

Was leaving midwifery to work as a Doula the right choice for me?
I think that once I become more established in this new way of working and feel confident and have a steady rhythm of working, I will be able to answer that with more clarity than I can right now. Of course, the life skill of working as a Doula is the best job ever. I get all of the enjoyment of supporting and empowering families through their journey without the added responsibility and stress that can come with working as a Midwife. On the other hand, I loved, and I miss the variety, the autonomy, the camaraderie, the skills and the professional recognition that comes with being a Midwife.

Perhaps by the next International Day of the Midwife I will really be able to answer that question with clarity and honesty, but for now, I am embracing this wonderful new chapter, working with and serving our birthing communities as  a Doula, Hypnobirthing teacher and yoga guide.

A New Hope

By Sam Sheppard

It’s the 4th May: International Star Wars Day. May the Fourth be with you.

Have you ever thought how the links between the hope, positivity, and community of the Star Wars films overlap with those within the birth world? The Force is like our instincts – we can all be guided by our own needs if we stop and listen to what our bodies are actually telling us and not to unwanted advice.  Our patience and just ‘being’ is enough – in fact it’s more than enough.

In ‘The Force Awakens, Rey tells us that she knows ‘all about waiting’. As do doulas. Being able to wait and be guided by the people we support is one of our greatest gifts.  Being able to truly listen, the other. How many people often feel truly heard? When you are, how positive do you feel after?

Rey also said, ”I need someone to show me my place in all of this”. Do you though, Rey? We often look to people for support and expect a fix, for someone to have answers, for someone to tell us what decision is right… but we know that given the right support you will come to these conclusions yourself. You may think you need someone, and you do. You may actually just need someone to listen, to reflect back to you and acknowledge where you’re at. To give you the space and time to tap in and feel what you need to feel, then process it and move forward. Most importantly, moving forward along the path YOU have chosen.

It’s why I love the mentoring system with Nurturing Birth. We are all continually mentored – we give ourselves the gift of time and a safe space to explore where we’re at (maybe actual Space if you’re a Jedi!). A safe space to unpack ‘stuff’ that is coming up, no matter what it looks like.

The brilliant Emma A (fellow Star Wars enthusiast) mentioned about the rise of Rey, Rey Skywalker. How she chose her path, how she chose who she wanted to be, who she needed around her and how she come into her power once it felt right to choose her name and embrace it. It makes me goose bumpy just typing it. For years I’ve seen so many women/birthing people come alive, shine, stand stronger and taller once they know who they want/need to be. It’s powerful. Truly powerful. I’m guessing that any doula reading this will have goosebumps too.

“You will remove these restraints and leave with the cell door open” .  Talk about owning who she is and claiming her power!

“I am one with the Force, the Force is with me”.  Wow, with affirmations like this it’s no wonder that they all trust in their communal, and individual, strength! Knowing you’ve got your community and support around you, your instincts and power in force. What an epic combination.

I’ve often (probably too often) wondered if I’d have been in the Resistance, the Rebels.  I know now that the answer is a resounding yes. May the Force be with you doulas, on this special day, May 4th, for Star Wars fans, and always.

Sam is one of the Nurturing Birth doula training facilitators.

The one where a new mother nearly killed my Dad

Photo of 'Ruby Red Devon' Cattle which are a deep reddish brown colour, in a field.

Nurturing Birth Owner and Doula Course Facilitator, Sophie Brigstocke, shares a story which has influenced her doula practice

This week I was so thrilled to make it back to my Somerset home, a working farm, and arrived half way through calving season.  My father, who became a farmer in his retirement, has a beautiful herd of Ruby Red Devon Cattle and there is something so special about being around them.

Several years ago, when the herd was managed by someone else, I witnessed one of the first-time heifers calving.  She was out in her field, surrounded by her cow friends and her labour started calmly and beautifully.  My daughter and I sat and watched as it unfolded, her contractions coming increasingly regularly.  Suddenly, the herdsman arrived on a quadbike, made a decision that she wasn’t birthing quickly enough and decided to “transfer” her to a calving pen.  Once in there her labour slowed down and it was decided that she needed further assistance.  The calf was pulled out and the farm workers congratulated themselves on having saved a calf.  

The next day, when turning this new mother and her baby back out into the field, the cow turned on the three men and attacked them.  My Dad was lucky to get away with only a broken neck.  This cow was utterly furious with what had happened to her and according to the farmworkers she was never the same again.  Do we blame the cow for attacking the farmworkers and my Dad or do we look at what happened to her and learn?  

We have had a lot of conversations on the farm since that day.  I’ve shared a lot about physiological birth with my family and they know how passionate I am about supporting people (and mammals!) to have the best possible birth experiences.  Now, on the farm, we have a watch and wait policy.  There is trust that these beautiful creatures intrinsically know how to birth their babies.   Very occasionally intervention is required however, this is done as calmly as possible with minimum noise and fuss.  The cows are respected and I cannot tell you the difference in atmosphere.  It is a joy to be around.  

The amazing thing is how people on the farm have changed.  The men who grew up in farming communities where things were always done in a particular way have rethought their approach to supporting cows when calving.  Rather than rushing in to “fix” and “rescue” the cows, they are far more considerate of the environment and keeping things calm and peaceful.   The cows like and trust their care providers – they allow them to come close, to scratch their necks and bellies – they know their voices.  

How many of us know and trust our care providers?  How many of us feel truly listened to and respected in our choices?  And what happens to us if and when we aren’t supported in a respectful, compassionate way?  The midwife Kemi Johnson, when I shared this story with her, said that as humans we would be far more likely to turn on ourselves rather than our so-called protectors.  Rather than getting angry, pushing and shouting, after an interventionalist birth we would be more likely to self-blame and tell ourselves that we had failed.  It is no great surprise that perinatal mental ill-health is as common as it is given the number of people who don’t experience the birth they wished for.  

We don’t fail.  We are failed by a system that doesn’t trust us, our instincts and our choices.  It is interesting that the World Health Organisation suggests that the ideal rate of caesareans is 10-15%, however our caesarean rates in the UK are soaring well over double those numbers.  It is also interesting that before birth became so medicalised the WHO stated that only 5-10% births needed medical support.  

This is not a blog to damn the medical profession.  This is a piece to highlight the importance of physiology – to bring our focus back to how our bodies naturally birth, to recognise just how we are hugely capable IF we are supported in the right environment.  So many people are losing their innate belief in the power of the birthing person’s body.  We need to reclaim it.  People experiencing physiological birth often feel really empowered and positive.  It can have real impact on the way they bond and connect with their new babies, on feeding and on how they recover and experience the fourth trimester.  It goes so far beyond the “day” of birthing.  

Just yesterday I stood quietly and watched another first-time mother labour and birth her calf into the straw.  Within moments of birthing she was on her feet nuzzling and licking her beautiful newborn, stimulating him to breathe.  Within half an hour this beautiful new baby took his first tentative steps, being watched lovingly by his new mum and found his way to her udder to feed.  It was a very far cry from that birth I observed all those years ago and I felt a huge sense of relief.  

If you want to explore the notion of physiological birth more then do join Sophie, Kemi and other passionate birth-workers in the “Physiological Birth Club Room” on Clubhouse on Tuesdays at 8pm and Saturday at 5pm (UK time).  If you need an invitation to join Clubhouse then do email us with your telephone number – info@nurturingbirth.co.uk

If you would like to know more about becoming a doula with Nurturing Birth then why not come and join one of our Dreaming of Being a Doula workshops?

Nurturing Birth Book Review: AIMS – Gestational Diabetes

Book Review by Sara Healy

Front cover of Gestational Diabetes, written by Deborah Hughes for AIMS.

AIMS – Gestational Diabetes, by Deborah Hughes, is available from the AIMS shop as a printed book for £8 or on Kindle, for £6.50: https://www.aims.org.uk/shop

I was so excited to be asked to review this book! Having been through gestational diabetes (GDM) three times, and currently diagnosed with it for a fourth time, I was extremely interested to read more information around the condition from a personal perspective. I also wanted to gauge whether this was a book I could confidently signpost to clients, having found so much conflicting advice and information in the past, even from reputable sources.

[Read more…] about Nurturing Birth Book Review: AIMS – Gestational Diabetes

Nurturing Birth; Nurturing Doulas; Nurturing You

By Sophie Brigstocke

Photo of Sophie Brigstocke. Sophie is a white woman with long, light brown hair and she's wearing a blue top.

When I first became a doula I joined an online doula forum (shows how long ago it was that Facebook hadn’t gained notoriety yet!)  I was an excited new doula, keen to find a tribe of like-minded people, share my experiences of training and ask for support.  When I introduced myself to the group I volunteered that I was meeting up with a well-known breastfeeding expert for a cup of tea.  The reaction was totally unexpected.  There was an outpouring of vitriol about this person, what I perceived as judgement of me and my suggestion of meeting with them and a desire on my behalf to run away and hide.  I felt so bruised and fearful of getting it wrong that I didn’t post on the forum for at least six months afterwards.  
 
Whilst it was very useful to be enlightened about this particular person and it informed me to ask a lot of deeper questions when I did eventually meet them I was left with a feeling that I wasn’t safe in that forum.  
 
I had told myself that doulas were all lovely, caring, nurturing people who would be supportive of me and my desire to go out there and do good work.  I made an assumption that the world I was entering was peopled by those unified in their desire to improve things for birthing families.  What I realised was that my expectations were unrealistic and naïve.  We are all humans, all perfectly imperfect and often with our own stories to process around why we are drawn to this work.   It was a painful lesson to learn, but it made me seek out the people I did feel safe with and put together my network of trusted doulas who I could outreach to and dare to be vulnerable with.  
 
We don’t know what we don’t know.  
 
Coming into the doula world there is so much that I didn’t know – so much I needed to learn and so much I needed to unlearn.  My beliefs and knowledge were challenged.  I was encouraged to consider my own opinions and judgments about so many things.  I had to let go of my own stories, recognise the importance of them for me, but realise that hanging on to them would be of little or no benefit to the families I supported.  
 
It is courageous stepping into doulaing.  It takes vulnerability to look at our own stories.  It takes humility to recognise that there are things we may have got wrong in the past, whether due to just not having the knowledge, or in how we have related to people.  I honour that.  I love every single person who takes that brave step to come and join us on a doula course, who is willing to do the work and prepare themselves to go out and be with people on their journey.  It is amazing, rewarding and sometimes challenging work.  
 
At Nurturing Birth we want everyone to feel supported.  I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to run away so they can lick their wounds in private before daring to put their head above the parapet again.  Our values are compassion and respect.  Compassion means that our intention is always to create safe spaces – on our courses, in our online groups, on our workshops and in our mentoring.  Respect means that we honour each person’s journey – everyone is worthy of their place in our groups and has something to bring.  There is no such thing as a stupid question, even if it has been asked many times before.  We want to nurture new doulas so that they gain in confidence and ability – what better reward for us when doulas go from taking tentative new steps to flying!  
 
Very recently there were some difficult discussions on our Facebook group (the one doulas can join once they have completed their course).  What blew me away was how respectful the discussion remained, despite people having different and sometimes strong feelings and opinions.  More than one doula messaged me to say how amazed they were that the conversation had stayed so respectful and compassionate.  I felt so proud of Nurturing Birth doulas – it was a very precious moment. 
 
If you want to come and join us, comforted in the knowledge that our ultimate aim is to provide a truly safe space for you to explore what is coming up for you around becoming a doula then do contact us.  We would love you to join us on one of our Dreaming of Being a Doula workshops where you can spend two hours with Michelle Every (our Mentoring Co-ordinator) and two of our recent graduates asking questions and learning more about what it is to be a doula and what our courses involve.  Going forwards you have three different course options to consider – our in-person courses (Intensive and Expansive) or our remote courses (Expansive and Distance).  We really hope to see you on one of them!

Sophie is a doula in London, breastfeeding peer supporter and baby massage teacher, and she is also the owner of Nurturing Birth. Her Nurturing Birth Directory entry is here.

Teaching Mindfulness to reduce stress and depression in expectant parents

By Kelly Brusch and Nancy Bardacke

Two photos, one of Kelly and one of Nancy. Both are white women. Kelly has long blond hair and is wearing a blue top. Nancy has short white hair and a grey top.

Pregnancy and birth, under the best of conditions, can be a stressful time for expectant parents – and right now, across the globe, pregnant couples are experiencing previously unimaginable levels of stress, anxiety, isolation, and depression due to the COVID-19 global pandemic. Birth providers are also navigating new challenges and stressors as they consider how to best support families during the transformative time of pregnancy, birth, and early parenting.

According to published research by Dr. Larissa Duncan and Nurse Midwife Nancy Bardacke, stress in pregnancy has been associated with preterm labor, a decrease in the quality of the childbirth experience, and an increase in postpartum depression. It can also lead to a decreased quality of attachment between a mother and her infant, postpartum couple conflict, and less than optimal neurocognitive development of the child.

This is where mindfulness practice comes in. Studies show that mindfulness practice helps us cope more effectively with stress, pain, illness, depression, and anxiety. Evidence also shows improvements in brain and immune function. A two part research study published by Dr Larissa Duncan found that expectant parents who learned mindfulness skills before the baby was born showed lower maternal depression symptoms during pregnancy and immediately following childbirth and lower perceived distress through the first 1-2 years postpartum. 

There have been hundreds of published research articles on how mindfulness can reduce stress and depression, but what exactly is it about mindfulness practice that makes such an impact? And what about when it is applied in childbirth preparation?

What we know about mindfulness is that it is the practice itself that allows us space and time to cultivate new inner skills. The more we formally practise, the more likely it will be that these new skills can be applied right in the present moment in daily life. Here are some life skills that practising mindfulness during pregnancy may cultivate:

  • an acceptance of present moment experiences
  • non-attachment to expectations about the future
  • healthy physiological conditions which promote optimal functioning of the body
  • awareness of inner resources that allow for more “responding” vs. “reacting” to everyday challenges
  • compassion for oneself and others
  • an opportunity to reassess one’s relationship to both physical and emotional pain

Every woman’s labour and birth is unique; however, when we look at birth physiologically, we can see some universal features. When we teach mindfulness skills to prepare for childbirth, expectant parents learn how the inner skills they cultivate during mindfulness practice can help facilitate the normal physiological birth process.

The birth process involves intense physical sensations, which most women call pain. And the pain of childbirth is what midwife Nancy Bardacke, who developed the Mindfulness-Based Childbirth and Parenting (MBCP) program, describes as transformational pain. Transformational pain is normal pain. This pain is not a signal that something is wrong; it is a result of a rapidly changing body that is doing what it is meant to do. As Nancy describes in her book, Mindful Birthing:

“Mindfulness practice helps us connect with the truth of transformational change and perhaps helps us to see childbirth in a new light: it certainly can be comforting to know that however long your labor lasts, it is not a permanent condition. Nothing is.”

What we also know about childbirth is how one’s relationship to fear and pain can inhibit the body’s natural physiological processes. Through mindfulness practice we can become more aware of our relationship to fear and pain and find moments of ease, presence, and even peace during childbirth.

Birth providers across the globe are curious about how to cultivate a mindfulness practice of their own to cope with the stressors of work and life, as well as being interested in learning how to teach mindfulness to expectant parents in the communities they serve. The Mindful Birthing and Parenting Foundation has trained nearly 200 perinatal birth professionals from 28 different countries how to teach Mindfulness-Based Childbirth and Parenting (MBCP) to expectant parents.

One birth professional describes her motivation for training to teach mindfulness skills to expectant parents as:

“To teach mindfulness for expectant parents is to guide them how to “dance in their contraction of life with mindfulness”, to help them to face every pleasant and unpleasant moment mindfully.”

Or as another MBCP teacher puts it,

“The most important value of teaching mindfulness for expectant parents is the opportunity to contribute to a decrease of intergenerational suffering. There can’t be peace in the world until there is peace in our homes.”

To learn more about the benefits of teaching mindfulness skills to expectant parents you can:

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Nancy Bardacke, CNM, MA, is the Founding Director of The Mindful Birthing and Parenting Foundation

Kelly Brusch, MA, is the Managing Director of The Mindful Birthing and Parenting Foundation