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Becoming a doula during Covid – Sophie Burns’ experience

By Sophie Burns

Photo of Sophie and her fluffy light brown cat.

Sophie has received permission from her clients to share their details in this article.

In February last year I got my first booking from a birth client. This was what I had been waiting for and I was so excited. Coronavirus was being talked about in the media, and on my birthday I went out for lunch with two friends, one of whom had just got back from Singapore. “Buy loo roll” she said. The other friend and I laughed…

Only 3 weeks later we were in lockdown and people were stockpiling loo roll! The start of lockdown was grim as my cat was run over and I was furloughed from both my part time jobs. I signed up for every bit of free CPD, did the Nurturing Birth webinars and bought the online modules from the Expansive Course to keep me focused1. I also had an ever growing stack of doula books waiting to be enjoyed.

The weeks went on with no enquires, but there were plenty of things to be positive about. The Virtual Cuppa was, and still is, a lovely way to connect with doulas that you might not meet in person2. We’ve shared challenges, supported and celebrated each other and it’s certainly shown that virtual support can be as authentic as in-person support.

In June I had a call from a mum of a 6 month old. She was finding it hard without family around as well as not being able to meet other new mums and find her ‘village’, so she was seeking support. I could hear the sadness in her voice and went to meet them the next day. She spoke of Postnatal Depression (PND) and a thyroid condition which made her feel exhausted. So we agreed that I would work with them for two or three afternoons a week and I’m still there! The mum has made a good recovery but uses the time I am there to rest and have some time for self care. For me, it was a real bonus as I got to cuddle the baby. Even writing about it makes me feel quite emotional as that so felt amazing after almost three months of living alone in lockdown.

In July I started working with another postnatal client with a 4 week old. A traumatic birth and not having family nearby had led this mum to seek some support. She was very anxious and tired. I worked with them for a couple of days a week for four months and watched her confidence as a first time mum grow.

One of the issues that came up for me was that I didn’t want the postnatal jobs to turn into anything that resembled a nanny job. I had been a nanny for over 25 years and had decided to have a change of career. Although there have been moments when it has felt like that, I remind myself of what the sometimes subtle differences are and where my personal boundaries lie. For instance, working as a nanny meant that I was “in charge” of my working day from the parents leaving in the morning until they returned in the evening. We would have a brief handover at the beginning and end of a day and regular chats about the children.  I arranged play dates, found activities and classes and booked doctor and dentist appointments as well as meal planning and food shopping. It was usually a 60 hour week and I stayed with one family for 22 years.


As a doula I am led by the mother as I am coming into their home to support them as a family, usually for a briefer time than a nanny job. Sometimes I am doing similar tasks, but other times I’m holding their space. It’s their choice.

When the restrictions lifted over the summer it felt good to be able to see the local doulas and share our experiences. It was usually done with good food….. and wine! We all started to hope that doulas would be allowed back into hospitals, but we were lucky that our local Trust had never stopped their home birth service. We raised a glass to the prospect of a baby boom!

In July I was taken off furlough for my part time job as a Marketing Manager and was immediately really busy with a new project and both the postnatal clients. I know I’m more productive when I have a fairly full schedule. And at the end of the summer I got another cat.

My first birth client and I did our birth prep sessions over the summer and at the end of September I was called out just after midnight. As I drove through the Buckinghamshire countryside I was so glad that this was a home birth, meaning that unless the situation changed during labour I would be there for the birth. The next few hours were intense and beautiful, culminating in the baby arriving in the birthing pool just before 5am. Watching her parents and three siblings fall in love with her was a privilege and as my first birth client family they will always hold a special place in my heart.

At around the same time I also got 2 more bookings for birth clients that I’m about to go on call for. In the last few weeks the client has chosen a different birth place, so I won’t be there in person once she goes into hospital. We have worked together to prepare for hospital rather than home birth. I will support them at home in early labour and then go home to sit in a calm space with a phone, FaceTime and a cup of tea. It will be a different experience. I really am looking forward to the time when doulas are welcomed back into hospitals to support women.

Sadly, one of the clients suffered a loss so I supported her through that and was thankful that I had attended Michelle Every’s Supporting Every Birth workshop. The client and I are keeping in touch and I hope for her that this year is kind to her.

From the beginning of lockdown in March last year it would have been impossible to imagine that the pandemic would last so long. And how much longer is still an unknown quantity. There have been news articles and posts in birthing groups on social media from parents who have birthed during this time and it seems that there have been increased levels of trauma and postnatal depression. My own experience of working with clients postnatally during this time showed me how isolated they felt as a direct result of not having family close by and not being able to meet other mums and babies. But, being listened to and supported by someone without judgement can make an enormous difference.

Sophie is a birth and postnatal doula in Buckinghamshire. You can find her Nurturing Birth Doula Directory listing here: https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/buckinghamshire/whitchurch/sophie-burns-2/

Find Sophie on Instagram: calmdoulabucks 
Find Sophie on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/calmdoula

Editor’s notes:

  1. The online modules are ongoing learning modules available to doulas who have completed their Nurturing Birth training. If you would like to know more, please contact us.
  2. The Virtual Cuppa is a weekly Zoom meeting for anyone who has completed, or is undertaking, Nurturing Birth doula training. This is a wonderful opportunity to get together with other Nurturing Birth doulas to seek support, connection and doula love.

Nurturing Birth Book review: Informed is Best

Book review by Margherita Drago

Book cover image of Informed Is Best

Informed is Best: How to spot fake news about your pregnancy, birth and baby by Amy Brown is available from Pinter and Martin as a printed book, or on Kindle, for £12.99: https://www.pinterandmartin.com/informed-is-best

How many times are we being told that we should do our own research? 

With so much information at our fingertips, it’s probably like asking someone to look for a needle in a haystack. Professor Brown’s book “Informed is Best” is a must-read for anyone who wants to know how to look for the right information, where to find it and how to spot the thousands of fake/alarmist pieces of information we are exposed to every day. The final goal is to feel more confident in making decisions for ourselves. 

We have also all come across social media users who claim to be “experts” on a particular subject (usually because of anecdotal experience). So why are we all more inclined to believe these people while dismissing scientific researchers? Of course, our unconscious bias plays a big part in our choices as we are more likely to trust our friends & family than researchers. 

The first part of Informed is Best delves into how the media and social media shapes our views. It cites a very interesting study on how the UK’s newspapers are linked to political views and reiterates a certain world-view (confirmation bias anyone?). 

Informed is Best also looks at the role of the Internet, and how this is changing even the way we (skim) read everything. Focus is put on checking where we are getting our information from. Professor Brown uses the example of Nestlé’s website which has many scientific articles talking about infant nutrition (breastfeeding included) and looks very formal. However, is this really the best un-biased source for information on infant nutrition? Probably not. 

The section regarding academia will bring you back to blatant underlying sexism, classism and racism. It’s a very sad state of affairs where there are fewer women in academia, undertaking research. The book states that “women end up (still) doing less research and not getting taken as seriously for it. And because women predominantly do the research about pregnancy, birth and babies, this means that research in this area is still underfunded and not taken seriously” (p. 114, 115).

The world of research funding is another world that we all know is not fully transparent. However, after reading Prof. Brown’s examples I would say it’s even murkier than I expected. The extent of corporations’ gains and the amount of money spent to fund self-interested (or downright dangerous) research is so enraging. The truth is that “normal birth does not benefit the industry” (p128)and therefore there’s not much money spent on funding research benefitting mothers having normal births. If this doesn’t enrage you, I don’t know what will. 

Partnerships between industry and health organisations have always been there, but because of current general lack of research funding these have become even more entrenched and condoned in the academic world. Reading of the effects of said partnerships on public health policies and individual health choices is, again, very sad. One interesting example is the increased rate of prescription for specialist formula (for cow’s milk allergy), which quadrupled between 2006-2016. The authors who published guidelines around Milk Allergy in Primary Care (MAP) all had ties with formula companies (p. 131-133).

Because the book was written in 2019, the picture becomes scarier when put in the 2020/2021 pandemic context where scientific research is now largely privately funded, sometimes with impressive results, but often at the expense of other research sectors.

To avoid getting sucked into scary headlines and misleading research, the author’s advice is:

1) Always read the label: check who has funded the research and you will always have your answer.

2) Look at the bigger picture. It’s important to understand that we, as individuals, don’t all have the same risks. Our individual risk is based on multiple factors (i.e. social, genetics, even luck). Public health guidelines are created with a very large group in mind, and their objective is to statistically minimise a risk. Guidelines on, for instance, keeping the baby in your same room, will lower the risk of SIDS. “It’s important to remember that this is NOT the same as saying that if you don’t follow this guideline something WILL cause harm, or has caused harm to all babies” (p. 153).

3) Be aware that each type of research (quantitative or qualitative) has its limitations. 

4) Socio-cultural / economic / ethnic factors and geographical location are at play in every example of human research.

5) Some issues cannot be ethically researched, thankfully. Therefore, we will never know the scientific answer to many questions such as randomising women to breast or formula feeding.

Chapter 17 is incredibly interesting because it brings home all of the previous information. 

Let’s be honest, what everyone really wants to know is “what’s the actual risk to me”. This chapter is a great insight on how we perceive risk and how our behaviour is affected by it. The author takes the example of co-sleeping. The public perception is that co-sleeping is unsafe, so we are told to avoid it completely (risk elimination p. 317-319). However, many parents will decide to co-sleep anyway (through conscious choice or necessity) but will often avoid disclosing it and will therefore lack the education on safe co-sleeping. Lucky things are changing and safe co-sleeping measures are now more widely publicised. 

In the final chapter, the author describes the always useful BRAIN acronym (p. 336), which makes for a great final chapter considering how we make decisions, as individuals, according to our personal reasons, experiences, preferences, and familial/cultural background. Finally, it stresses how important it is to validate feelings if things don’t go according to our plans because it’s always important to keep in mind that, like everything else in life, birth has some degree of risk and unpredictability. A list of great resources is included in the final chapter as well.

My only partial criticism to this book is that it goes in great depth explaining how scientific research is conducted, randomised controlled trials and other specific examples on how research papers are actually produced. I completely understand the need to clearly explain this, as a preamble to the final chapters. However, chapters 8 to 12 probably go to unnecessary lengths into specific scientific research most of us are probably never really going to see again. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t read about it or skip them. But just be aware it’s presented in detail.

Finally, after reading the book, I would definitely suggest always using a parachute when jumping out of a plane (inside joke – read the book to find out more!)

https://www.instagram.com/margherita_doula/

Margherita Drago

Nurturing Birth Book Review: The AIMS Guide to Your Rights in Pregnancy and Birth

Book review by Marius Griffin

Image of the front cover of the AIMS book, The AIMS Guide to Your Rights in Pregnancy and Birth.

The AIMS Guide to Your Rights in Pregnancy and Birth, by Emma Ashworth, is available from the AIMS shop as a printed book or on Kindle, for £8: https://www.aims.org.uk/shop

The AIMS Guide to Your Rights in Pregnancy  and Birth, written for AIMS by Emma Ashworth, is full of valuable, gracefully offered information from the first page to the last. On the first page, in clear and concise language, is the book’s fundamental message; that your body is your own. Every page after this supports our understanding of this in the legal, social, and institutional situations that can and do arise around pregnancy and birth. If you only absorb and fully digest this truth, that in every possible way your body is your own, this book is well worth reading.

Fortunately for us, this book has more than one page! In fact, it has just the right number of pages to lay out as complete an explanation and understanding of your rights in pregnancy as needed to support confidence and clarity about your choices.

Written with respect and care, the author draws on a wide range of solid, trustworthy sources as well as her own decades of experience. With a straightforward and honest kindness, she distils for us this vital information, including real-world possibilities, and walks us through examples of how to navigate the challenges and misinformation that can be part of pregnancy. While not a fun or playful read, Emma Ashworth’s voice often lifts through the page, warmly reminding us that in body and self we are our own, a message that cannot, in our time, be repeated often enough.

Whether you are pregnant, thinking of becoming pregnant, or work in a realm that touches on pregnancy, birth or human rights, this book is a well laid out and significant resource.  Written to be as readable as working information can be, and full of useful online links, this book is well worth your time.  From beginning to end every word works to one purpose: Helping us to better understand the value and boundaries of our body/selves and how we should expect that to be respected, supported, and protected by the institutions and individuals around us.

We can only hope for a time when our descendants read this book and shudder at the things we had to make legally explicit, because in the future that they inhabit those things are just daily-lived common decency. For now, we are still, as a species, working it out. Knowing and applying this information in the here and now actually helps to make that better world more possible, one birth at a time. I really cannot give a higher recommendation than that.     

 The AIMS Guide to Your Rights in Pregnancy and Birth was reviewed by Marius Griffin, Nurturing Birth Doula.

A grandmother’s perspective on stillbirth: For Cillian

By Sharon Bridges

Photograph of Sharon, Sharon's daughter (Cillian's mum) and Sharon's aunt. Sharon's daughter is wearing a blue sash which says 'mum to be'.
Sharon, her daughter and her aunt at Cillian’s baby shower, before they received his diagnosis.

During my mentoring session with Michelle Every, facilitator of Supporting Every Birth, Michelle suggested that I write an article on the experience from a grandparent’s point of view. Around this same time, my daughter bravely made a Vlog offering support and sharing her own experiences, so I felt this was a suitable subject for me, following the loss of my first grandchild, Cillian.

Cillian was a little blessing we were told was on his way on Christmas Day 2019. I had lost my daughter Sophie in 2018, which made Christmas a difficult time, as it was Sophie’s favourite time of year. My older daughter, Hannah, had been planning to start a family in 2018, but following the loss of her sister she decided to wait until we were in a better frame of mind to welcome and nurture a new life, so this news was indeed very special. Hannah was only around the 6 weeks stage, and a bit nervous telling family, as my niece had sadly suffered a miscarriage of her first little girl in November 2019. Sure, what could possibly go wrong, when we had already been through so much loss? The 12 week scan showed everything appeared to be going well, and the 17 week scan confirmed this, but there was a brief mention of a little fluid on the kidneys. The hospital staff were more concerned with adhering to Covid-enforced restrictions to answer the questions of an anxious first-time mother, so Hannah decided to have some private scans carried out. Again, these showed no major cause for concern, and revealed that we were expecting a little boy.  A small heart defect was indicated, along with the fluid in the kidneys, so Hannah was referred to the Foetal Medicine department in the Royal Victoria Hospital, which is really the highest level of care on offer in Northern Ireland. The specialist could still find no reason to worry, and felt that perhaps by delivering early and having a look at the heart, Cillian had a good life ahead of him.

How did that go so wrong? At 32 weeks, Hannah went through an amniocentesis to put her mind at ease before being induced, and at his point we discovered our beautiful little man had Patau’s syndrome, Trisomy 13. None of us had ever heard of this. We were familiar with Down’s syndrome, as I have a cousin who has had a wonderful 45 years of life so far with this condition, and that was the reason I had advised against this invasive procedure. If our worst-case scenario was Down’s syndrome, our grandson would still be so loved and a welcome member of our family. We were not prepared for this news in any way, and it felt like a horrible, cruel trick. We were given this news on a Wednesday, and told Hannah would be induced on the following Saturday. I still believe that where there is life, there is hope, and on those nights I stayed with Hannah before she went into hospital, we made memories with her little bump. We told him how much we loved him and wanted him to be part of our family, although Hannah and her husband Paul did not want to be given any false hope. My heart was completely shattered, but I kept it inside when I was with them, but when I was alone in the middle of the night, that is when the tears came.

Saturday the 27th June 2020 arrived, and Hannah and Paul had to report to the maternity hospital alone. Throughout lockdown, Hannah had to attend all her maternity appointments alone, but there was no way was I letting her face this unsupported. Having been induced 3 times myself, and also working in a maternity hospital, I was aware that we were probably in for an arduous journey of days, rather than the hours they were both expecting. I felt sick all day waiting for news, but it was only when the night staff were on duty that I was allowed to join them at the hospital. It was a horrible stormy night, as if Belfast was offering me her sympathies, but I made my way to the special Snowdrop room, which would be my home for the next few days.

That first night felt like it went on forever, as the niggling cramping of early labour began, but it was evident there was not much progress to be made. I guess that’s when my doula brain kicked in, and I encouraged Hannah and Paul to get some sleep.  The last thing you will feel like doing is eating and drinking, but it is vital that you all keep your strength up and stay hydrated. The staff were amazing, every one of them, who treated us with such compassion and empathy. Sunday was another long day, and between us we decided Paul should go home overnight for a proper rest and meal, while Hannah and I had our last bonding time with little bump, watching silly comedies that reminded us of happier times with Sophie.

Our perfect, precious little Cillian arrived and departed this world on Monday 29th June, born sleeping, still warm when the midwife handed him to me. It was surreal, being handed this beautiful little boy by someone who said ‘I am so sorry for your loss’. I wanted so much to try to resuscitate him, as I ached so much for him to breathe, that I put my mouth over his tiny mouth and nose, just waiting for a sign of life. I longed so much to hear those first little cries, but this was not to be, Sophie had already welcomed her little nephew to her as he entered the world. As Hannah and Paul comforted each other and expressed the rawest of emotions, I held Cillian to my heart and allowed one tear to escape, before reuniting him with his mummy.

The Snowdrop room in the Royal Victoria Hospital had been set up in 2018 by a family who had gone through this life-changing experience, and although it is in a maternity hospital, it is separate from the labour wards and delivery rooms. We had a sacred place to spend as much time with our special little man as we needed. I won’t go into all the sentimental things we did as it was personal to us as a family, but we were so thankful that we had that time with Cillian, and he was treated as a person in his own right by all of the wonderful staff, who not only looked after Hannah, but myself and Paul also.

My reason for sharing this with you is really just to give you a little background on our family dynamic, but I would like to share some suggestions to any grandparent who is facing the same scenario. Yes, you want to scream, and cry, and curse, so do it, when and where appropriate of course! Your child needs you to appear strong and calm, no matter how sick you feel inside. Your child is still, and always will be, your child, so you place your own pain aside and care for them first. Be there. I was told I may not ‘be allowed’ into the hospital, but no force on this earth would have kept me away. Make your memories, before and after the birth. That little heart is still beating, those little ears can still hear you and recognise your voice. Believe me, you will thankful that you did. Acknowledge that tiny life as part of your family. One thing that particularly touched me was a text message from my own mother, saying ‘I am so proud to be his great grandmother, and I love him’.  This also reinforced in me the assurance that your mother is, and always will be, your source of strength, and in her eyes you are forever her child. You may want to consider what you would like to dress the baby in, or put in the cot with them, but the hospital staff were a great help to us as we had not really given this a lot of thought. We picked a little outfit for Cillian, and the staff gave us a beautiful memory box containing 2 little blankets and teddy bears. One set went with Cillian, and the other stays with us. I have a ring that I had made containing Sophie’s ashes, and I placed this in his little hands overnight, so know it has an extra special meaning to me. Take photos, lots of photos. These will be all you will have to look back on, so make the most of every opportunity. It is not as morbid as it sounds, trust me.

Of course, there are practical things that need to be considered, such as registering the birth and death, or receiving a certificate of stillbirth, and arranging a funeral. Again, the hospital staff took care of so much, and we are eternally grateful for their support. There is so much more I could share, as a mother, a grandmother, and now a doula, but we experience every moment in our own way, and our journeys are all unique. Rest assured, you will get through this, your child will get through this, and there will be happier times ahead, but you will always have that little angel tucked away in your heart.

Cillian showed me that my calling was to become a doula, and I intend to offer my services to any woman facing this experience, who may not have family support around her. I will honour his memory, give him this legacy, and breathe the meaning into his existence that I was unable to breathe into his little body, and he will always be my first grandchild.

For Cillian Noel O’Gallachoir, 29th June 2020.

Further information and support:

SOFT UK: A charity providing support and information to parents of children with Trisomy 13 (Patau’s Syndrome), Trisomy 18 (Edwards’ Syndrome) and other genetic differences, before and after birth. https://www.soft.org.uk/

Sands: A charity which supports those who have been affected by stillbirth and neonatal death. https://sands.org.uk/

Miscarriage Association: A charity to support people affected by miscarriage: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Supporting Every Birth: Nurturing Birth’s interactive workshop created for doulas and birth workers looking at supporting both clients and themselves through all birth journeys including baby loss. https://nurturingbirth.co.uk/retreats-and-workshops/supporting-every-birth/

When a baby dies

Photo of Michelle Every, Michelle smiling. She is standing with moorland behind her. her long hair down to her shoulders. She's wearing a teal padded jacket.

By Michelle Every

What do you say when someone – a doula client, a friend, a relative – tells you that they have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth? Michelle Every offers some support, information and signposts.

When I trained to be a doula in 2007 I was astonished and saddened that supporting baby loss was not mentioned on my course. Then as I gained experience and connected deeper into the doula community I noticed that loss was not something that I saw being discussed. 

In 2014 I felt a strong conviction to change this so I created the Supporting Every Birth workshop. I wanted to create a safe space to explore loss with a focus on self-reflection and group participation and give time to consider where we are with our own grief being curious and honest with ourselves around our own views and opinions on loss

When talking to doulas about baby loss the two phrases I most often hear are “But what will I say?” or “I worry I will say the wrong thing.”

There is fear around the power of language.

What we do or do not say is not just relevant to supporting loss or supporting clients. It is relevant in every exchange we make in our everyday life. How we respond to what we hear can have a significant impact on the person sharing. Have we heard them or are we focusing too much on our own answers or our own story? How can we offer space, actively listen and resist the need to fix?

When I am considering my choice of words I keep the Nurturing Birth values of respect and compassion at the forefront of my mind. These values lay a great foundation when considering language, can shape my conversations and prevent me from saying something in anger or frustration.

Is what I am about to say respectful and compassionate?

Coming back to supporting loss, what do you say to someone who has discovered their baby has died during pregnancy? Or what can you say at a labour when the baby is born not breathing and has died?

I volunteered for the Miscarriage Association for fifteen years. When I answered the phone and listened to people share their own stories of loss I would hear how the countless times their family, colleagues and friends had said unhelpful things such as “Everything happens for a reason” or “Just move on.”

From my experience of facilitating loss support groups I am aware how a spoken phrase can bring much comfort to one person only to upset another. No one way works for all. It is good to remember that grief is a natural, unique and personal response to losing something important to us. As doulas we want to validate this uniqueness while acknowledging the challenge that this can bring to us personally. We are required to offer support in the moment and respond to what we see and hear rather than having a pre-planned and prepared response. 

Maybe we are beginning from the wrong place. Instead of starting at what we will or will not say it might be helpful to start with what can we be. How can we be our most authentic self and respond to the needs of the family we support? 

On the Nurturing Birth doula courses and within mentoring we talk about being rather than doing. Our skills are listening, holding space, being client led, responding to needs in the moment. We go to births with no guarantees or certainty and yet we go with confidence that our presence and commitment to the family will make a significant difference 

Is this any different when the baby does not survive?

We can create the same environment, listen with the same focus and respond in the same way. 

To be honest, and to give a little away from my workshop, not much changes in the support we offer in loss compared to supporting clients with live babies.

We simply doula.

The Miscarriage Association has created some excellent resources which come from supporting loss for many years, including this video -when you do not know what to say, simply say “I am sorry.”

How do you feel about supporting families through baby loss? Do you have concerns on what to say? I would love to welcome you on to the Supporting Every Birth workshop to explore the topic more. My desire is that every doula feels able to step into this role and offer support.

If you would like to talk to me more about the Supporting Every Birth workshop please get in touch – michelle@nurturingbirth.co.uk

Nurturing Birth Book Review: The AIMS Guide to Resolution After Birth

Book review by Natalie Stringer

Image of the book "The AIMS Guide to Resolution After Birth"

The AIMS Guide to Resolution After Birth, by Shane Ridley, is available from the AIMS shop as a printed book or on Kindle, for £8: https://www.aims.org.uk/shop

“An absolute must-have resource.”

This book from the Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services (AIMS) is an absolute must have resource guide. It will point you in the right direction to find answers and peace following a challenging birth where you have experienced traumatic events.

All information provided in this book is completely up to date being published in 2020, therefore all signposting to relevant websites are accurate and still in practice.

There are so many different, confusing avenues you may need to explore when wanting to raise a concern or make a formal complaint after birthing a baby. This book very easily allows you to recognise and guide you towards the best route for your individual circumstance. It is UK specific and highlights the different organisations in England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales, so you can contact the relevant people in your country. There are some time limits when making a formal complaint within the NHS Maternity system, and these are highlighted in the book. Therefore having this guide to hand to dip in and out of when you feel comfortable, will help you piece together what you need in a time frame that suits you, but does not exceed the cut off point.

There are template letters provided in the book that you can work with to raise a concern or make a formal complaint. Numerous support organisations and charities are listed throughout the book, enabling you to seek out who can help guide you through this process, if necessary.

The book also provides a great insight into how to prepare for a subsequent birth and who to liaise with, as this will help ensure certain traumatic events do not reoccur again. Guidance on how to write your ‘birthing decisions’ is a great resource and will give you the foundations to make this birth better and more in-line with your own personal needs. It provides different options for you to choose the best support for you throughout your next pregnancy, labour and birth. This will help ensure you can feel more emotionally and physically in control of your decisions and your autonomy.

Exploring how you feel about your difficult birth experience and/or the care you received is discussed in Chapter 3 of this book. I know this will be so comforting for many mothers and birthing people who decide to put pen to paper and allow their experience to be validated. This may just be a starting point that encourages you to recognise that you do indeed wish to raise a concern or make a complaint. For others it may provide enough emotional release and your resolution may end there.

The language used in the book can be a little difficult to digest in some places. Although written thoroughly and very clearly, some areas can be a little heavy on abbreviations and putting a sentence together in places may need re-reading a few times to help it sink in or understand which organisation or charity has been written about.

Ultimately, many readers will be looking to find much needed answers and therefore it can be used as a reference book. So it may be a case of finding the relevant chapter(s) for their individual needs rather than reading the book from cover to cover. The contents pages at the beginning make it easy to navigate through whilst missing out sections that are not relevant to you. However, I believe every birth worker should read every page of this book and refer to it often, not only to recommend to their clients who need to seek resolution after birth but also to locate relevant information very quickly.

As part of ‘The AIMS Guide To’ series of books I believe this one will help many, many birthing people find their inner strength and courage to explore not only what happened during and following the birth of their babies, but also find the light to indeed seek resolution.

The main success of this book is giving parents the permission to find a way to raise their concerns or make formal complaints about their birth experiences. Together, if more people feel listened to, respected and supported when choosing to revisit their difficult experiences in order to find answers, they will be paving the way for a better maternity system for birthing people now and for the next generation.

Book review writted by Nurturing Birth Doula Natalie Stringer.

Natalie can be found at www.equilibrium-birthing.com or on the Nurturing Birth Directory: https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/kent/sevenoaks/natalie-stringer/