Nurturing Birth

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Video interview with comedian Rob Rouse and actress/writer Helen Rutter

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Having watched Rob and Helen’s new play, Funny in Real Life, at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Sophie caught up with the husband and wife team to chat about home birth and why it can be so difficult discussing joyful birth experiences with other women and families. Prepare for laughter, some chaos and occasional appearances by other members of the Rouse family!

Click here to find out more about Funny in Real Life, on at the Gilded Balloon Teviot at 11.15am until 18th August during the Edinburgh festival.

Follow Rob and Helen on Twitter

Rob and Helen talk about why birthing at home felt so safe and the right choice for them – in this blog Sophie talks about home birth and physiology – why it makes sense that we would feel relaxed in a familiar environment.

Click here to read comedian James Mullinger’s account of doula support at the birth of his children

Video Interview with The Baby Reflux Lady

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Nurturing Birth Director Sophie Brigstocke interviews Aine Homer about her work with families experiencing reflux, colic, silent reflux and allergies. It turns out reflux is most commonly a symptom of something else which Aine is ruthless about getting to the bottom of for each family. Former engineer and traditional Chinese medicine practitioner Aine has been investigating reflux since her own experiences with two children suffering took her into difficult territory personally. She’s on a mission to change the world and eradicate reflux forever. She has some thoughts about how doulas can help.

For more information go to The Baby Reflux Lady website, Instagram or Facebook page

Click here to watch Sophie’s interview with Lyndsey Hookway, Holistic Sleep Consultant about baby sleep patterns

Self-Care for Doulas – Taking care of you, so you can take care of them…

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It’s been a hectic few months here at Nurturing Birth HQ. Our busy little team have taught Doula Preparation Courses across the UK and Europe, mentored dozens of doulas, recorded several Facebook Live sessions, run a free- 5-day online course, scheduled in over 360 social media posts, added more doula preparation courses to our calendars, planned two retreats, attended dozens of conferences and events, raised teenagers, cooked meals, driven school runs, survived school holidays and moved homes.

Phew!

When you take into account the huge amount of tasks you have to fit into running a home, family and business it’s no surprise how little time we women have to look after ourselves? It’s easy to put self-care on the back-burner when everything else seems so urgent. Especially when you’re on call!

“Long births can really take it out of you. For me it often feels like jet lag – my body likes sleep and regularity, so doesn’t deal with lengthy births particularly well! After a long birth I need to be gentle with myself – often I don’t sleep well immediately, but the second night tends to be really good and deep. In the meantime I eat well, re-hydrate, take a bit of exercise (usually a good walk in the fresh air) and nurture myself with a long bath or a massage.” Sophie Brigstocke, Nurturing Birth

But you can’t give from an empty cup… So if you’re stuck in a bit of a rut when it comes to your health and your happiness, this months blog  is packed with wellbeing tips that are quick, easy and effective. Starting with what we consider to be two of the most important steps in leading a vibrant, healthy fulfilled life…

Firstly… Get moving!

People weren’t designed to sit still. Movement improves posture, increases oxygen to our brain and gets us out and about. Moving around also helps to get us thinking more clearly too so if you are feeling uninspired or stuck with a problem; take a walk.

Walk to work, run up the stairs, make phone calls standing up, play chase with the kids, play your favourite song and dance along, do a quick 10-minute yoga video on YouTube, walk the dog or meet friends for a walk rather than sit down for a coffee. When we are moving we are less likely to eat rubbish, spend hours watching things we don’t particularly want to watch anyway and put on weight. 

Regular movement has even been shown in studies to improve some kinds of depression.

Moving is free, easy and available to us all. So let’s try and do a little more of it.

Second, practice gratitude. Our brain is much like a computer in some ways; if we load it with a program which says ‘things will go badly, I never have any luck, I can’t find enough clients, life is awful’, then it often produces results that prove that program. It’s like some sort of negative self fulfillment!

So make sure you load your doula brain with a positive program. There may be some days when this feels impossible, but try to pay attention first of all to the things you take for granted; did you have enough food to eat today, are you healthy, do you have a client or two?  Also, you don’t just have to proud of yourself for big achievements; what about the way that you kept your cool when someone cut you up on the school run this morning, or the way that you manage to juggle so much and still have time for your friends and loved ones? 

The more we focus on what we appreciate and are grateful for, the more we will get to be grateful for, because our brain will notice more of those things and fewer of all the things we used to complain about.

We conducted a poll and asked our lovely Nurturing Birth doulas how they de-stress, relax and rejuvenate themselves… here’s what they had to say…

What’s in your bag?

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What to put in your bag for a birth is a question that comes up a lot both on parenting forums and in doula groups.  I’m very aware of it on forums for doulas – it’s most often asked by a really keen, excited, nervous new doula busy preparing to go out for the first time and wanting to be ready.  Every time I see the question I have a little smile to myself because the replies always seem to follow a similar format.

Usually the first response will come from another relatively new doula who is spending lots of time on the groups absorbing as much information as she can, asking lots of questions, interacting, networking.  A long list of must-have items will be given including:

Spare knickers, toothbrush and paste, snacks, something for massaging a client, phone charger, parking money … all very valid suggestions.

There might be a reply from someone who has a huge bag of tricks – takes everything from a change of clothes to the kitchen sink, who is known for lugging duvets and beanbags around birth centres. 

And then the final response is usually from a long-time doula who will generally say something like:

Phone, car keys, hairband, money … or, whatever I have in my hand when I get the call!

Some doulas don’t have a dedicated bag, though many have spent hours looking for the perfect carry-all – with compartments or wheels to make trundling through hospitals or on the night bus home that bit easier.  Ultimately it comes down to you – you do what feels right for you, but what I would encourage any doula to consider is this question – who is taking responsibility for the birth?  

I spend far more time talking to my clients about what they think they will need for birth, because if they invest time in thinking about what they might need then they are engaging with the feelings that come up around birth, and what might make it a more positive experience for them.  Something that I think looks, feels or smells lovely might not resonate with them, so it is far more important that the family in question source what feels right for them. 

However, experience of being in the birth room over more than ten years has taught me some valuable lessons, so here are a just a few of the things I think worth considering having when preparing for your birth, and none of them require an expensive shopping trip!

  1. A large dark-coloured towel.  There is nothing worse than having a shower during or after birth and having to dry yourself on something the size of a tea-towel which feels like it’s made of cardboard – you want something soft, familiar and cosy on your body.  A dry towel can double up as a blanket – something warm to place round a labouring woman’s shoulders if she feels chilly or a bit shaky in the transition stage or immediately after the baby has arrived.  A comfortable towel/blanket over a pairing of new mother and baby, or partner and baby, protects skin-to-skin contact which is so important in those first few minutes, hours and days.  
  2. A pillow from home in an old pillow case.  The word that comes to mind for NHS pillows is “minimal”, or if I am being unkind “stingy”. In labour we sometimes need to create a cosy nest for the body – pillows can be a prop between the legs to make the hips feel more comfortable and encourage opening; they provide a soft cushion to rest into if we are trying to shut out the light of the room; they can provide a comfortable resting place for the arms or elbows if we are in forward-leaning positions e.g. on the cistern of the toilet if we are sitting facing the wall; they can be a useful elbow/arm support if we are feeding our babies; they can support a weary head after a long labour.  The most basic of comforts can provide the greatest relief.  Sometimes the birth partner might need to kip in a less-than-comfortable spot so having a pillow can make a world of difference. Having your own pillow is a reminder of home – it has familiar smell and look to it, rather than being clinical and cold.  
  3. A bendy straw. I’m not an advocate for plastic – in fact I am doing everything I can do avoid single-use plastics – but a bendy straw is invaluable.  I have noticed so many times how much effort is seems to take a woman who is labouring to lift her head to take a sip from a bottle or a cup – to put a straw to someone’s lips for her to be able to draw a few drops of water or other drink keeps her hydrated (which is so important for energy in birth).  You can now buy metal, reusable or even bamboo straws so hit the search engines and see what you can find.  I have to remind myself to drink plenty during a birth too, so a non-spill portable mug is one of my essentials.
  4. A hair band – I have long hair and usually find that I need to put my hair up and out of the way during birth – but often so do labouring women – hair in your face can be annoying, sweaty, uncomfortable.  
  5. Lip balm – hospitals especially seem to be quite dry environments – hot, dehydrating and if a labouring woman is really focussing on her breathing, expending a lot of effort or using gas and air her lips can get really dry.  A touch of balm can feel really wonderful.  I tend to have an unperfumed massage balm which has multiple uses – as lip balm, moisturiser and massage wax.  
  6. Food is essential for birth – for labouring women, for their partners and for doulas – none of us function well if we don’t have energy.  I’ve known a birth completely change direction once two tired, unfed partners went out for a quick half hour pizza, fresh air and freshen up. One client of mine ate hard boiled eggs (not my cup of tea) and another sucked chocolate buttons through her labour. Many women love fresh fruit – a piece of mango, some grapes – easy, fresh, available natural sugars.  Sweets or honey sticks are popular too.
  7. Something comfortable to wear – birth is not a fashion parade and you don’t need to go out and buy something especially – again, it’s about familiarity, comfort and ease.  It is worth saying that it is definitely not obligatory to wear a hospital gown. For someone birthing in a pool a bikini, or underwear, is fine if you don’t feel comfortable with nudity.  After birth the ideal is to have as much skin-to-skin with your baby as possible, so a large shirt is great, or anything that is easy-to-open.  Many forums suggest buying disposable paper knickers – my experience was that they were totally grim and I think would be whatever type of birth you have – investing in a multi-pack of cheap, really big, cotton pants feels a bit more humane – again, it’s all about feeling comfortable.  Blood loss continues for a few weeks after birth for the majority of women so choosing dark colours rather than pristine whites and investing in plenty of maternity sanitary pads is a good idea.   Partners can often get really hot in hospital settings, so perhaps consider a change or two of t-shirt/tops.
  8. Phone chargers. We don’t seem to be able to exist without our devices these days and during birth they can serve a number of functions – your playlist of music or visualisations/meditations, as a camera for the first of what will be thousands of photos and films,  SatNav for the quickest route to the birth centre or hospital etc.  After the birth you will, no doubt, want to tell the world that your baby has arrived (though I generally encourage the golden hour or uninterrupted family time – skin to skin, initiation of feeding, resting after the birth, rehydrating etc) so, battery time is going to be needed!  

There are, of course, many other things that you could or might want to take to a birth, but this is my core list.  I’m interested to hear what your favourite thing you brought with you was?  What would you consider invaluable?    

Click here to watch Sophie chatting about birth plans

Go to www.nurturingbirthdirectory.com to find a doula to support you through your pregnancy and birth

Essential Summer Reads for Doulas

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With the summer coming up, it’s great time to indulge in a little educational reading! We asked the Nurturing Birth doula community for their recommendations – here’s just a few of our must-reads

Offering nurturing and loving care to mums throughout pregnancy, birth and after will always be at the top of our list, but to do this we need to stay up-to-date and current in birthing practices, developments and views.

There’s always something new to learn or teach others.

Book One – Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth

The first on our list is the hugely popular Ina May Gaskin. An inspiring look at childbirth, this book tells you everything you need to have the ‘best birth experience for you’. The idea behind its sentiment is to give women the opportunity to take back the fear of childbirth by regaining confidence in their own bodies.

Within its pages, readers will learn more about what really happens during labour; how to create a safe, comfortable environment for birth in any setting; tips for maximising chances of an unmedicated labour and birth; and the risks of anaesthesia and caesareans – what your doctor doesn’t necessarily tell you. What most doulas seem to love most are the stories – more than half the book devoted to real-life tales of birthing with The Farm Midwives in Tennessee.

Book Two – Grantly Dick-Reid’s Childbirth Without Fear

Grantly Dick-Read’s philosophy is still described as being ‘as fresh and relevant as it was when he originally wrote this book’. An interesting and empathic insight and analysis into the root causes of women’s fears and anxiety about pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding.

Childbirth Without Fear is one of the most influential birthing books, and definitely a worthwhile read for all parents-to-be, as well as doulas childbirth educators, midwives and obstetricians.

Book Three – Heng Ou’s The First Forty Days

We’re seeing more and more focus on the ‘fourth trimester’ and this book focusses on just that. The First Forty Days revives the lost art of caring for the mother after birth. The modern mother is often pushed too prematurely into a life of routine where they are expected to easily bounce back after giving birth, and where they are often left alone to face the physical and emotional challenges of this new stage of their lives.

Our third book looks at the first 40 days after child birth when it is essential for rest and recovery for the new mother. Based on the first-hand experience of author Heng Ou’s own postpartum period of “confinement”, where she remained home to focus on healing and bonding with her baby.

This book looks at connection, nourishment, and guidance and includes 60 simple recipes to help heal, build strength and help lactation. This warm and encouraging guide offers advice on arranging a system of help during the post­partum period, navigating relationship challenges, and honouring the significance of pregnancy and birth. We love this nurturing outlook.

Book Four – Rebecca Schiller’s Why Human Rights in Childbirth Matter

The human rights in childbirth movement is gathering pace with doulas activists, midwives, mothers, doctors and lawyers all coming together to offer right-based solutions to the problems in maternity care. This book looks at our human rights and how they apply to pregnancy and birth. What happens when dignity is absent? And how are innovators and educators using human rights principles to revolutionise care for the next generation of women. Rebecca is a Nurturing Birth doula, and started the Birthrights Charity, so we love seeing how well she is doing in print!

Book Five – Milli Hill’s The Positive Birth Book

We all have different ideas relating to what sort of birth we want. The Positive Birth Book has been written to help women maximise their chances of getting it. It’s a refreshing, warm and witty guide to pregnancy, birth, the early weeks and guaranteed to make you giggle.

As well as wit, it’s also packed with vital information on everything from building the ultimate birth plan, to your choices and rights in the birth room; from optimal cord clamping, to seeding the microbiome; from the inside track on breastfeeding, to woman-centred caesarean.

The Positive Birth Book shows you how to have the best possible birth, regardless of where and what you choose. Read real accounts from new mums on their own experiences and the truth about what giving birth really feels like.

Book Six – Amy Brown’s The Positive Breastfeeding Book: Everything you need to feed your baby with confidence

This is a must read for both new and soon-to-be-mums, as well as for doulas and other birth workers. Its straight talking, fact and science-based, with reassuring advice from fellow mums and experienced breastfeeding professionals.

Everyone is an expert on everything when you have a baby, and topics such as breastfeeding leads to probably the most opinions, so it’s very easy to become overwhelmed and confused by conflicting advice. The Positive Breastfeeding Book cuts through the anecdotes, giving you clear, no-judgement, non-preachy, evidence-based information to help you signpost and support each mother and her  baby.

It’s honest and doesn’t promise it will be easy but it will empower and encourage its readers.

Book Seven – Naomi Kemeny’s Nurturing New Families

The last in our recommendations, is ‘Nurturing New Families’ written by Naomi Kemeny, who has a wealth of experience as a midwife, children’s nurse and postnatal doula.

Supporting a family in the days and weeks after a baby is born is an important part of the birth experience and can have a massive impact on mum. A new mum needs the chance to recover her strength and to respond to her baby’s needs, the care of a postnatal doula, friend or family member can be invaluable. In this guide Naomi draws on her wealth of experience to explain in detail how to ‘mother the mother’ – by listening to what she needs and supporting her as she adapts to her new role. This is an insightful book for those working or wanting to work as a postnatal doula.

Have you read any of the above? Let us know what you found most helpful, or share your favourite book if it hasn’t been featured. Contact us or share on Facebook or Twitter.

Please note: This blog contains some affiliate links. If you click these links and make a purchase, Nurturing Birth may earn a small commission.

The MOST important content you need for your doula biz (it’s not what you think!)

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Let’s talk about words… From the carefully crafted content on your doula website to the attention grabbing social media posts, what you write can influence every part of your business growth.

But what is the MOST important content you should be using? Is it the can’t look away headlines? The all-important calls to action? Perhaps a perfectly crafted blog post?

Actually, it’s none of those… lean in close and we’ll share a little known secret with you. The most important content on your website and social media isn’t the word that you write.

It’s the words your customers and client write. Your testimonials.

In a world where consumers are clever and discerning about the health and well-being services they choose to invest in. Good customer testimonials can give you that all important edge in a crowded and competitive market.

By sharing the ways in which you have already supported your clients and made them super happy, you’re immediately reassuring potential new customers that you can do the same for them. So are you using them?

Asking for testimonials

It can be tough to ask for testimonials, especially if you’re a bit shy. But as such an important part of your marketing we’d really love you to take a deep breath and start asking that question. Below are a few ideas for how… but first a super top tip!

Don’t ask for a written testimonial via email, instead ask clients to review you either on your:

  • Facebook Page
  • LinkedIn profile or
  • Google MyBusiness account

if you have them. Why is this important? Because once a customer has left you positive feedback in these places you can easily copy and paste the text and add it to your website.

You CAN’T do it the other way round. Plus, positive reviews in these locations will also boost your search rankings, hurray!

>> Want to know more about boosting your SEO. Check out our recent post Search Engine Optimisation – A total beginners guide.

So how do you get happy clients to give you positive feedback? Well you could…

Ask them straight after a consultation: “I’m really glad you enjoyed your treatment, if you have a spare five minutes later I’d really appreciate a quick review on my…”

Email them a few weeks after you’ve finished working together: 

Hi there!

I hope you and your new baby are both doing well. It was such a pleasure to support you through your pregnancy and birth and to be there for the arrival of little XXX.  I’d love it if you could support me by leaving a quick positive review on my xxx. Here’s the link: xxxx

Many thanks and I hope to see you and xxx again soon!

So once you’ve gathered a few testimonials, the next step is to share them everywhere! You could:

  • Create a testimonials page on your website
  • Add a single testimonial to the bottom of each page on your website
  • Copy and paste them into a social media post
  • Use them in a case study
  • Share them in your next newsletter
  • Make a meme and share it on social media, take a look at the video below to find out how.

Creating memes and graphics for social media – Nurturing Birth testimonials from Nurturing Birth on Vimeo.

Remember, trust is a powerful thing. If a prospective client sees that you’ve already created wonderful results for someone with similar wants, needs or issues to their own, they’ll feel more confident that you can do the same for them.

Happy Testimonial Gathering!