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Doula book reviews

Nurturing Birth Book Review: Nurturing the family, a doula’s guide to supporting new parents

Book review by Lynsey Montgomery

Front cover to Nurturing the family, a doula's guide to supporting new parents

Nurturing the Family, a Doula’s Guide to Supporting New Parents by Jacqueline Kelleher is available from Praeclarus Press in the US, or local bookstores/Amazon in your own country.

When I first saw “Nurturing the family, a doula’s guide to supporting new parents” on offer for review I just knew this is exactly what I had been looking for in a book to hopefully help me gain a better understanding of how to support parents postnatally.

This book is like a mini mentor – I say ‘mini’ mentor because really there is no substitute for actual mentoring whether virtual or in person but it is so valuable to have for those in between sessions and really walks you through the different scenarios that a postnatal doula may come across. The book is split into chapters with different topics within each one. It covers everything from ‘Why we need doulas’ to delving into topics that I wouldn’t know a lot about in the ‘On the support needs of families: other voices’

Coming from a childcare based background, working directly with families in their homes as a nanny, I have a fair understanding of what support a family need in their parenting journey – how to nurture the family. However, being quite new to doula work I was a bit unsure of how exactly I transition from Nanny type support to Postnatal Doula support. This book really helped!

I found “Nurturing the Family, A Doula’s Guide to Supporting New Parents” to be very well written. It is in an easy to read and understand format. I was hooked from the very first page! It is absolutely a must read for any new doulas, especially those who come from a caring profession and are transitioning to doula work. It’s an invaluable tool to have in your bookcase. There are so many lightbulb moments throughout the book!

What I found was that it really highlights just how much doulas can benefit families. I loved the acronym N.E.A.R. (CH2 pg15) which stands for Nurture Educate Assess Refer with the titles explained in short paragraphs further down the page.  I haven’t come across this particular one before but it really stood out because it’s so easy to remember:

Nurture highlights how important it is to Nurture both our clients and others who are supporting our clients. ‘Nurturing’ means that we are providing a calm presence, giving our clients our full attention and acceptance but not taking over from them.

We Educate in a way that is not directive; more guiding doula clients to find their own way, and showing them what options there might be. For example, if we wear their baby in a carrier to carry out a task, this shows the parents that there are alternative ways of keeping baby calm, with that precious physical contact, while doing something else at the same time.

Assessing is something every person does all the time, for instance assessing where to cross a road safely, or assessing whether a person seems friendly and easy to talk to. Doulas become very aware of this. Being present in the moment when we are with a client, our focus is with them and the situation we are there to support them with. We assess whatever seems to be the most important thing for each client, at each point in time. In turn, this helps us to identify how we might be able to make a difference.

Referring for a doula is knowing when things fall outside of our scope of knowledge or practice. We can then signpost to particular specialists/professionals for that particular issue. Referrals can also include book recommendations, websites, resources for community and companionship and so on. 

I loved the section on ‘How to juggle doula work and life’. This resonated with me because I had only ever heard of postnatal doulas who do daytime support. I had often wondered if doing evening postnatal doula work was a thing. In this section that question that I had had running in the back of my mind was answered. I was very glad because I do know from supporting families through nanny work that the early evening until the parents’ bedtime can be a tricky time, especially in the newborn phase, so it made me very happy to see that option explained and how it’s not really common but it is doable.

I want to briefly talk about the chapter ‘On the support needs of families: other voices’ this was so enlightening for me as it talks about and explains how to help families who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. What I learned from this chapter is that while this acronym is not completely inclusive, it does recognise that there are different types of families.

This part of the book really eased a lot of my fears and worries about coming across a family who relate to this part of the community as I just didn’t know where to start to educate myself on how to support them. I was very worried that I might offend people due to lacking the knowledge of appropriate language and terms. This chapter was so educational and really broke down all the terms into paragraphs of explanations, how to chat to a family who are part of the LGBTQ+ community and what not to say/what’s not relevant to ask at an interview/meeting with a potential client.

For example, how an LGBTQ+ family chooses to feed their baby can sometimes be especially challenging compared to straight/cis families. The woman or person who is pregnant (if they are part of the family) may choose to breastfeed or chestfeed, but the non-birth parent or parents may also want to try induced lactation. This can be very positive, but there are times when this may not work out, no matter how well supported they are, and how long they have tried to induce lactation for. This could bring up some emotional issues for the non-lactating parent so it’s very important that we have the correct resources available to signpost a client to. I hadn’t really thought about this part of doula work before as I hadn’t even thought about how nurturing the family, whatever the family is, so this was definitely enlightening and educational.

I highly recommend “Nurturing the Family, a doula’s guide to supporting new parents” for the new doulas coming through. My copy is well loved already! It definitely helps with any kind of query that you might have regarding boundaries as a doula, or what services to provide within your time with the family, or how to transition doula work into your life if you are still working full time like me.

You can find doula Lynsey Montgomery on her Nurturing Birth Directory profile

Or on her social media:

Instagram : @thebabyguruni – https://www.instagram.com/thebabyguruni/
Facebook : The Baby Guru N.I. – https://www.facebook.com/thebabyguruni

Nurturing Birth Book Review: The AIMS Guide to Giving Birth to Your Baby

Book review by Natalie Stringer

Front cover of The AIMS Guide to Giving Birth to Your Baby

The AIMS Guide To Giving Birth To your Baby by Deborah Neiger is available from the AIMS website for £8.

The AIMS Guide to Giving Birth to you Baby is a fantastic resource for expectant parents who have maybe not yet explored antenatal education. The contents pages towards the front of the book make it easy to find what you’re looking for, from birthing hormones to shoulder dystocia, meaning you can manage the reading of this book in little bite-size pieces over time, resulting in a very easy read.

The title of this book gave me the impression that I would be reading up on lots of information which would lead to a smooth sailing physiological birth. There were elements and focuses of physiological birth weaved throughout this book, but I think a title of “The AIMS Guide to Giving Birth Within Our Medical Model” may have suited it better. That way we know we are looking at physiological birth, assisted birth, episiotomies, epidurals, induction of labour, augmentation and much, much more than ‘giving birth to your baby’ as the title suggests. Unfortunately, the book has no information about caesarean birth. With a current local statistic of 35% caesarean rate, both planned and unplanned, this means that the book has no information regarding the potential mode of birth for over a third of pregnant women here. Including information about giving birth via caesarean would make the information within this book more abundant and link better to the title.**

However, what this book does want to focus on is the second stage of labour, bearing down and bringing your baby earthside, however that happens. I haven’t actually come across a book before that is mostly dedicated to that momentous moment of when birth actually happens, so this book is unique in that way. There are fantastic anecdotal stories throughout from those who speak about instinctive positioning, birthing in water and hypnobirthing. Reading these is very fulfilling to know just how variable birth can be and how every mother feels and births in her own unique way.

There is really useful information regarding episiotomies and how they are performed more often than you might expect (15%). I also really appreciated how the author took time to bullet point potential adverse outcomes to either mother or baby when assisted birth may be required. Throughout pregnancy many tend to focus on the wellbeing of their baby and forget about themselves, and this comes into play during labour too. They may be told of some risks that could occur to the baby if forceps or ventouse are used to help with birth, but mothers are all too commonly unaware of the potential short-term and long-term physical effects that births assisted with forceps or ventouse could have on themselves. The fact that these risks are highlighted within this book is really brilliant, so parents can be more informed from the get-go.

Ultimately, this book strives to accentuate the huge benefits of physiological birth as well as highlighting when a helping hand is necessary, which is important to note as birth (especially within our medical model) happens in many different forms. We cannot predict how our births will unfold, but with this book to hand you will be better equipped to know how possible interventions could help or hinder your path to birth. Throughout the book the author pulls us back to physiological birth many times, so you can always compare how your own birthing hormones may flourish or dwindle when choosing how, where and when to labour.

Above all, If you are looking for a general overview of what giving birth vaginally could be like within a mostly hospital setting here in the UK, then this book is for you (there are a couple of pages dedicated to homebirth and Birth Centres too). You may also find that you wish to explore certain topics further through other resources or with other AIMS books such as:
The Aims Guide To Your Rights In Pregnancy And Birth
The AIMS Guide To Induction Of Labour
Caesarean Birth: Your Questions Asked

Natalie Stringer is a Nurturing Birth doula and can be found at:
www.equilibrium-birthing.com
https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/kent/sevenoaks/natalie-stringer/