Nurturing Birth

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breastfeeding

Mindful Breastfeeding – doulas supporting breastfeeding

By Anna Le Grange, of Mindful Breastfeeding.

I always get excited when I find myself working with doulas (I have a not-so secret ambition to become one myself one day!) There’s something so beautiful about the gift a doula gives to new and expectant families. What a wonderful time to be supporting families whilst they enter into parenthood for the first, second or even tenth time! All of that time you get to spend with them, getting to know them and supporting them with whatever it is they need, I know it is a gift for you too – it really does warm my heart. I know that you get asked a lot about breastfeeding both before and after the birth and this can certainly get complicated at times! I wanted to share with you that although nothing beats referring breastfeeding problems to a specialist, I have a whole host of simple tools that you can use to support families whilst they prepare and learn to breastfeed. These mindfulness and positivity-based tools are simple, yet very effective in supporting families at this time.

About 4 years ago, after becoming a lactation consultant, I wrote an online breastfeeding preparation course for expectant parents and included principles of relaxation, neuroscience, self-care and mindset into the course. It soon became popular, especially with other birth workers and health professionals, supporting stressed and worried families. Since May 2018 I have been teaching others to provide these techniques themselves in their own practice. One thing that is fed back to me time and time again is that they are bowled over at just what a difference such simple techniques can make, not just to the mental wellbeing of their clients but to how well breastfeeding goes too – even in the most challenging of circumstances. These are some of the things we focus on at The Mindful Breastfeeding School.

Infant Feeding Mindset
Everyone comes to parenthood with their own infant feeding story and their own expectations on babies and themselves. I help expectant and brand-new parents to uncover their feelings and beliefs. It’s often something that they haven’t discussed or even thought about. Journaling prompts can be a great way to get the conversation going. Once they have an awareness of their expectations and fears, we break them down into any negative thought patterns that they may be experiencing or even hiding away deep in their subconscious mind. Research shows that negative beliefs can have a big impact on how breastfeeding and early parenting goes. These negative thoughts that we all have tend to be on repeat, often without us knowing it. For expectant or new parents it might be:

“I don’t believe I’ll make enough milk for my baby”

“I’m terrified of feeding in public”

The good news is that we can use what is known about mindset and neuroplasticity to rewrite those negative thoughts into positive ones. Through writing personalised affirmations and then showing parents how to use them, infant feeding and early parenting mindset can soon become more positive, having a more positive effect on their experience.

Calming the Nervous System
Stress is normal and part of everyday life. In small amounts it’s part of our normal physiology to go in and out of stress – early humans needed this part of their nervous system to keep them safe from predators and other life-threatening events. And of course, we still come across threats and dangers ourselves, just different ones. The problem is that our brain doesn’t really know the difference between a real threat and the stresses that we feel in modern day life. Our body still kicks into emergency mode. The issue with being in this mode too much is that our bodies don’t function optimally. It’s called the sympathetic nervous system and when we are running this system energy and oxygen are pumped to our heart, lungs, arm and leg muscles. Our body gets ready to fight, flee or freeze. At the same time areas of the body not needed in an emergency are slowed down. This includes our digestive system and the hormones that we need for birth and breastfeeding such as oxytocin.

In Mindful Breastfeeding we teach parents how to calm their own nervous system to keep themselves out of the sympathetic nervous system when it is not required. This is such a useful thing for any of us to be able to do and it’s a relatively simple once you know how. Tools such as breathing exercises and guided relaxations or visualisations are what we teach parents to help bring themselves out of moments of stress so that they can enjoy the feelings that come with calmness and relaxation and connect more deeply with their baby and themselves.  This leads to improved breastfeeding outcomes and a more fulfilling parenting experience.    

Breastfeeding Support & Education
Support comes in many forms and as doulas you know how vital it is. When I work with expectant families we talk about 3 types of support:

– Partner/co-parent support
– Community support
– Breastfeeding support

I encourage parents to be to talk about and plan how the breastfeeding parent will be supported in the early weeks and months and to put a plan together for what this might look like over the first 6 weeks.  

When it comes to breastfeeding education, before the birth is best. So many people believe that after their baby arrives breastfeeding will just happen naturally and if it doesn’t it can feel like a real shock or like they are failing at this first step in parenthood. Truthfully, breastfeeding, like all other developmental stages in life, is a learned skill. And in a society where most of us see very little breastfeeding in our lives, most expectant parents don’t have a realistic idea of what it will be like.
Good breastfeeding education includes understanding normal infant behaviour and development, as well as how breastfeeding works and when and where to get breastfeeding help. Breastfeeding support telephone numbers or group contacts are hospital bag/home birth kit essentials. If any problems arise at all, families should know who to go to and not to wait until things get worse. Finding breastfeeding-friendly solutions to feeding problems is, sadly, not always forthcoming in our society, so having the details of a local, trusted breastfeeding specialist to be able to share with parents is vital.

It’s such a privilege to work alongside brand-new families at this time in their lives. The road for them doesn’t always feel easy and breastfeeding is often named as a particular challenge. I hope I have inspired you to consider a more mindful approach to breastfeeding support. I truly believe that if we help prioritise calm and connection, so often the breastfeeding follows – it’s certainly a good place to start.

Anna Le Grange is a Mum to 3, IBCLC, Paediatric Nurse and meditation teacher. She is the author of the Mindful Breastfeeding Book and runs breastfeeding education courses at The Mindful Breastfeeding School.

Video Interview with The Baby Reflux Lady

Nurturing Birth Director Sophie Brigstocke interviews Aine Homer about her work with families experiencing reflux, colic, silent reflux and allergies. It turns out reflux is most commonly a symptom of something else which Aine is ruthless about getting to the bottom of for each family. Former engineer and traditional Chinese medicine practitioner Aine has been investigating reflux since her own experiences with two children suffering took her into difficult territory personally. She’s on a mission to change the world and eradicate reflux forever. She has some thoughts about how doulas can help.

For more information go to The Baby Reflux Lady website, Instagram or Facebook page

Click here to watch Sophie’s interview with Lyndsey Hookway, Holistic Sleep Consultant about baby sleep patterns

The bad baby!

In amidst the joy of seeing a new family together earlier this week there was a moment that jarred for me, the question put to Harry and Meghan about whether their baby was “good”. It’s one that crops up a lot and it begs a question … is there such a thing as a bad baby?

I recently attended a brilliant conference in Plymouth – an entire day spent in the company of some of my most esteemed colleagues in the breastfeeding world.  It left me on something of an oxytocin high and yet again considering what more I can do to support new families.  A topic that we at Nurturing Birth focus on a lot is the power of language and how it can radically affect parents during pregnancy and in the early days with newborns.  Every speaker at the conference talked about the type of language used, typical questions asked and behaviour of people around new parents, often undermining them unintentionally.  Take the aforementioned “is he a good baby” question asked all the time, often by random strangers when they coo over your offspring in the supermarket, coffee shop or park.  What it is interpreted by most to mean is “does he sleep through the night?”  And the answer for most parents, because their baby is entirely normal, is no, which can lead to shame, lack of confidence and insecurity.  Parents begin to doubt themselves and their parenting ability, rather than trusting their instincts and reading their baby’s cues.   Amy Brown, Professor at Swansea University, who is particularly interested in breastfeeding rates in the UK and how sharply ours nosedive compared to many of our international counterparts made me laugh out loud when she said her stock response to the good baby question now is “he’s ok this week, but last week I had to bust him out of prison twice!”  

I started to write down some of the words associated with babies and breastfeeding during the day – lazy, diva, malco, fussy, spoilt, cranky – all judgments on a baby and their behaviour as if they are deliberately being naughty or difficult for not feeding well or sleeping as much as we would like.  But, how often is it that a baby is demonstrating innate newborn behaviour that is being misunderstood?  Babies sleep patterns are totally different from those of adults, plus they have tiny tummies that need filling on a very regular basis, so it is expected that they will wake often and feed frequently.  No wonder Harry and Meghan were welcomed to the “Sleep Deprivation Society” by a tired older brother with three children under the age of 6! 

Back at the conference I was introduced to babies being described as piranhas or vipers and I felt my own nipples fast-tracking towards my ribcage – what woman would begin to think about putting their baby to the breast if they were described that way? We all want to protect our bodies – as Amy rightly said we wouldn’t be seeking out the table we stubbed our toe on again to deliberately open up the wound would we?  Nipple pain in feeding has become something regarded as normal, but perhaps we should change that word for common – not normal – it is not normal to have cracks, damage, bruising – our bodies are not designed to be deliberately damaged in the process of “normal” mammalian behaviour. 

So, what do I want to see going forward?  Firstly, let’s stop blaming babies.  They are brand new human beings without agenda other than having their needs met.  Let’s stop undermining parents’ confidence and ultimately, let’s start thinking about how we can help, rather than sitting in judgment.  Let’s give parents practical and emotional support so that they can focus in on the all-important job of bonding with their babies. Let’s try and support new parents to recognise their babies’ needs and respond appropriately, by signposting evidence-based information, such as that shared by Amy Brown and Lyndsey Hookway at the conference.  Doulas are brilliant at that – supporting in all aspects – emotionally, practically and with relevant up-to-date information.  Let’s hope that every new parent, including Harry and Meghan, surrounds themselves with the right people in these precious first few days and weeks because let’s not forget that when a baby is born so are parents.  

Click here to watch Sophie’s video blog on unrealistic expectations in the postnatal period

Click here to find a Nurturing Birth doula in your area

Interview with Anna Le Grange, Lactation Consultant and Mindful Breastfeeding Coach

Sophie interviews Lactation Consultant Anna Le Grange about mindful breastfeeding, some of the pitfalls facing parents in the UK around feeding, and what she thinks makes good preparation for feeding. She also discusses the training she offers doulas and other professionals around breastfeeding support. For more information about Anna go to www.mindfulbreastfeeding.co.uk or follow her on Facebook or Twitter

Click here to read our blog on well-meaning advice and how helpful it is

Click here to listen to Sophie’s blog on breastfeeding support and antenatal preparation

Click here for more information about doulas and how they can support new parents

An Interview with Bridget Supple, Microbiome Teacher

Florence chats to Bridget Supple, Antenatal Teacher and news editor of the International Journal of Birth and Parent Education about her interest in the Microbiome and how that has developed into providing online courses for parents and birth professionals about the microbiome and how to best prepare for the optimum bacterial start for babies.

To learn more about Bridget and access her courses go to https://www.facebook.com/BabysMicrobiome/
Click here to watch Sophie’s interview with Birth Photographer, Jo Robertson
 

Breastfeeding myths and the media propogation – a video blog

Sophie’s in a field – she’s fired up by a story she’s just read about a celebrity not breastfeeding and the reasons she gave.  Sophie talks about her desire to debunk some of the popular breastfeeding myths out there, but also the need for women and families to have access to evidence-based research in order to make informed choices.

For free breastfeeding support call the National Breastfeeding Helpline, or check out the Breastfeeding Network, Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, or the La Leche League.
Click here to watch Sophie’s video on Breastfeeding support and Antenatal Preparation