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birth doula

Danielle Fox: My Journey to Being a Doula

April 11, 2022

Photo of Danielle Fox. Danielle is a brown skinned woman with black hair. She is wearing a white top.

By Danielle Fox, Nurturing Birth’s Doula Mentor Coordinator

I am usually a very busy birth doula but enquiries for postnatal support have been at their highest since Covid started. I’m the doula mentor coordinator with Nurturing Birth.

I first heard about doulas about ten years ago when my mum said she’d found the job I was made for! I did spend time researching it, but my boys were then only 3 years and 6 months old so starting a new career seemed daunting.

At the time, I had been a librarian for 13 years and also taught parents babysign (BSL) at local libraries, groups and nurseries. I loved my job but with two babies to care for, it was becoming increasingly difficult to juggle parenthood with my career.

I was finding that all too often I would overhear stories from new parents attending my babysign classes that they wished they’d had more support on their parenting journey. Many shared that they’d been clueless about the change that a newborn was going to bring to their lives.  When I looked at my experience, I was surrounded by the women in my family (including mum, nan & aunties) who encouraged me to only rest and feed my baby for at least the first week after his arrival. In our culture it’s paramount that the birthing mama is cared for physically and emotionally. I knew I really wanted to take on that role for families that didn’t have the amazing support that I did, so I decided to train to be a doula!

Before starting my career as a doula I hadn’t supported anyone physically during birth but I was very forthcoming with any expectant friends, suggesting to them that they may want to spend time taking in knowledge before going into labour and set up support at home so they could focus on recovering and bonding with baby. Clearly, a career as a doula was always going to be my future!

I love everything about being a doula. It’s my dream job! As much as I love seeing a baby being born, and still six years later, I’m still in awe of what our bodies can achieve, I’d have to say what I love most is knowing the positive impact I can make on a family. To allow me to walk with them on their journey to parenthood and make a real difference is honestly the biggest privilege!

At the beginning it took me a while to realise how organised I needed to be when “on call” for a birth with very young children. It took some juggling but once I got into a routine with it I felt more in control.

Now the boys are older I would say I am constantly reminding myself that family still comes first. Being the caring souls we are as doulas, we may come across situations that can take up a lot of our time mentally. It is important to set healthy boundaries with my clients and make sure I still have the head space to be there for my family.

When I first certified as a doula my end goal was to be active in my local community and spread awareness about the much-needed practical and emotional support we offer families. I have since been recommended to expectant parents by local midwives and this makes my heart sing! The next step is to open my own maternity hub in the town and run all my courses from there.

One final thing about doulaing that I have to mention is the positive impact that regular mentoring has brought to my birth business. My Nurturing Birth mentor has supported me through my very first birth, building a successful business, juggling family life, personal circumstances and client baby loss. Having her by my side to talk through things that she truly understands has been priceless and one of the reasons why I’m now a mentor myself.

If you are sitting on the fence about joining a Nurturing Birth course, have a chat to the team – you won’t regret it. They are all super supportive, and once certified if you take advantage of mentoring and work hard to build a business that feels right for YOU, you will never look back!

You can contact Danielle through her website, social media or Nurturing Birth Directory link.

http://www.beautifullyblooming.co.uk

http://www.instagram.com/beautifullybloomingpregnancy

http://www.facebook.com/beautifullybloomingdoula

https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/vale-of-glamorgan/cardiff-1/danielle-fox-3/

Filed Under: About Doulaing, Doula Stories, Training to be a Doula Tagged With: birth doula, career as a doula, Danielle Fox, doula mentor, Doula mentoring, Doula training, postnatal doula

Becoming a doula during Covid – Sophie Burns’ experience

February 23, 2021

By Sophie Burns

Photo of Sophie and her fluffy light brown cat.

Sophie has received permission from her clients to share their details in this article.

In February last year I got my first booking from a birth client. This was what I had been waiting for and I was so excited. Coronavirus was being talked about in the media, and on my birthday I went out for lunch with two friends, one of whom had just got back from Singapore. “Buy loo roll” she said. The other friend and I laughed…

[Read more…] about Becoming a doula during Covid – Sophie Burns’ experience

Filed Under: About Doulaing Tagged With: birth doula, doula in covid, doula in lockdown, postnatal doula, Sophie Burns

Can we be doulas and birth activists?

September 17, 2020

By Emma Ashworth, Nurturing Birth doula

Why are you a doula (or want to be a doula)? At the heart and soul of it, we passionately want women and people to have incredible, empowering, beautiful births, right? And because we see when that’s not happening and we want it to stop! For many of us this leads us down the path of activism – which is what this blog is all about. Can you be a birth activist and a doula?

You might wonder why not… indeed, many amazing doulas are also extraordinary birth activists. Birth activism changes the birth world for the better – as do doulas – so in a way, every act of doulaing is an act of birth activism. However, there are some parts of being a birth activist which need to be kept quite separate from being a doula.

Being a doula means that we support the pregnant woman or person who is our client, and, if they want us to, their family (eg partner, children). We are there to help that woman or person to find their way through the maze of maternity care. We are not there to guide them through it. We are there to show them what doors are available, support them in their decision about which door is right for them, and then walk with them through those doors. We don’t tell them which door to take.

Sometimes we may see injustice and as doulas who care so deeply for our doula clients we want to fix it. Right now, we are seeing deep injustice, and in some cases real trauma, from Covid-related hospital rules which are limiting access to hospital for partners and other supporters (including doulas). As has been pointed out in a recent social media campaign, if we can go to the pub, why can’t we have the person we want with us at an antenatal scan? As birth campaigner Ruth Weston points out in her excellent blog, some pregnant women and people find out at a routine that their baby died. Not only is hearing this alone a horrific experience for the pregnant woman or person, the other parent has to hear it over the phone, or second hand in the car park.

Here’s the thing. Here’s where it is absolutely imperative that we are completely clear about separating out being a doula and being a birth activist.

Our client may be really upset at the idea that they may have to attend an appointment alone, or be alone through much of their labour if they birth outside the home, or be alone on the postnatal ward. They may be able to have one birth partner there, but not two, and this might mean that they have to choose between their doula (you) and their partner. This feels wrong. This is wrong. So what do you do?

It may feel obvious that the right answer is to get on the phone, or send emails to a senior midwife, telling them how anxious this situation is making your doula client. Perhaps you might go through the details of your doula client’s specific case. Maybe she had a miscarriage last year that she only found out about at her 12 week scan. Maybe they are wanting to talk to a doctor about having a caesarean and they are worried about it being denied. Isn’t it our job to fix it?

No!

This is tricky stuff, and of course your doula mentor would be an amazing person to talk to about the complexities of the boundaries of a doula, however here is a starting point to this hugely important area.

One of the most important roles of the doula is to work with our doula clients to help them to achieve the pregnancy, birth and parenthood experiences that they want. Here’s the key words:

“to help them to achieve”

There are two big risks of “fixing” things for doula clients

  1. We can, inadvertently, take away from our doula clients’ own power.
  2. We can, inadvertently, do things for our doula clients that they didn’t actually want to happen.

When we see things which are wrong in the maternity system, it is absolutely fine to work towards fixing them. If we see guidelines, protocols or limitations of care which are unfair, unreasonable or unkind then fight against them with all of your power, if you wish to. Just do it as you, as a birth activist, rather than trying to do it on behalf of your client. It’s fine to say, “I know local women who this policy is affecting very seriously”. This is powerful and desperately needed work. You can absolutely be a birth activist and a doula.

What we have to be extremely careful to avoid, though, is trying to fix things ourselves, for our individual doula clients, when we see injustice happening. Instead, we are better focusing on what we can do to support our clients to make the changes that they want to see for themselves, so that they remain in control of their decisions  and we don’t accidentally push for something that they’re not totally ready for. This means that our doula clients are the ones who are deciding which doors to walk through, and this is how they work with and build on their own power and strength.

There is huge benefit in large numbers of people campaigning on a specific issue, so many pregnant women and people feeding back to the trust and pressing for change is the most likely way that things will improve. But the only people who can do this are those who are wanting to do so. As with all options around pregnancy and birth, we, as doulas, can ensure that our doula clients know that this ‘door’ is there, but, like everything else, it we must show them this option with no pressure, no judgement and with no attempt to encourage them through it, but if they decide to open it themselves then we can step through it together with them, if they want us to.

Birth activism becomes a heart-need for many, and activism in the birth world is essential for change. We can campaign for change as we see the need, and yet ensure that we keep our doula work separate, carefully ensuring that we support our clients to achieve what they want, not what we want to see done better.


Emma is a Nurturing Birth doula, and manages the Nurturing Birth blog. She is also a breastfeeding counsellor, birth researcher and writer and a birth activist with AIMS.

Filed Under: About Doulaing Tagged With: activism, AIMS, birth activist, birth doula, doula boundaries, Doula mentoring, Emma Ashworth

Do you want to find a birth doula or postnatal doula?

May 10, 2016

Nurturing Birth is so proud to present the Nurturing Birth Directory – an easy way for pregnant women and people, and new parents to find birth and postnatal doulas.

There’s no need to register or give any data, just type in what you are looking for and a local list of Nurturing Birth doulas will come up!

Read their doula profile and when you find a doula (or more than one doula) who resonates with you, contact them direct via links to their website, email or phone! Finding a doula in the UK and across the world is now so easy. Just go to Nurturing Birth’s Directory of doulas: http://www.nurturingbirthdirectory.com

If you are a Nurturing Birth and would like to be listed on the Nurturing Birth Directory of doulas, click here to email us from the website.

Filed Under: Your Doula Business Tagged With: birth doula, doula, Doula Directory, Nurturing Birth Directory, postnatal, postnatal doula

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MAMA Awards 2017 - DOULA OF THE YEAR​ Winner - Sophie Brigstocke, Nurturing Birth

MAMA Awards 2017
DOULA OF THE YEAR​

Sophie Brigstocke,
Nurturing Birth

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