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doula mentor

Danielle Fox: My Journey to Being a Doula

Photo of Danielle Fox. Danielle is a brown skinned woman with black hair. She is wearing a white top.

By Danielle Fox, Nurturing Birth’s Doula Mentor Coordinator

I am usually a very busy birth doula but enquiries for postnatal support have been at their highest since Covid started. I’m the doula mentor coordinator with Nurturing Birth.

I first heard about doulas about ten years ago when my mum said she’d found the job I was made for! I did spend time researching it, but my boys were then only 3 years and 6 months old so starting a new career seemed daunting.

At the time, I had been a librarian for 13 years and also taught parents babysign (BSL) at local libraries, groups and nurseries. I loved my job but with two babies to care for, it was becoming increasingly difficult to juggle parenthood with my career.

I was finding that all too often I would overhear stories from new parents attending my babysign classes that they wished they’d had more support on their parenting journey. Many shared that they’d been clueless about the change that a newborn was going to bring to their lives.  When I looked at my experience, I was surrounded by the women in my family (including mum, nan & aunties) who encouraged me to only rest and feed my baby for at least the first week after his arrival. In our culture it’s paramount that the birthing mama is cared for physically and emotionally. I knew I really wanted to take on that role for families that didn’t have the amazing support that I did, so I decided to train to be a doula!

Before starting my career as a doula I hadn’t supported anyone physically during birth but I was very forthcoming with any expectant friends, suggesting to them that they may want to spend time taking in knowledge before going into labour and set up support at home so they could focus on recovering and bonding with baby. Clearly, a career as a doula was always going to be my future!

I love everything about being a doula. It’s my dream job! As much as I love seeing a baby being born, and still six years later, I’m still in awe of what our bodies can achieve, I’d have to say what I love most is knowing the positive impact I can make on a family. To allow me to walk with them on their journey to parenthood and make a real difference is honestly the biggest privilege!

At the beginning it took me a while to realise how organised I needed to be when “on call” for a birth with very young children. It took some juggling but once I got into a routine with it I felt more in control.

Now the boys are older I would say I am constantly reminding myself that family still comes first. Being the caring souls we are as doulas, we may come across situations that can take up a lot of our time mentally. It is important to set healthy boundaries with my clients and make sure I still have the head space to be there for my family.

When I first certified as a doula my end goal was to be active in my local community and spread awareness about the much-needed practical and emotional support we offer families. I have since been recommended to expectant parents by local midwives and this makes my heart sing! The next step is to open my own maternity hub in the town and run all my courses from there.

One final thing about doulaing that I have to mention is the positive impact that regular mentoring has brought to my birth business. My Nurturing Birth mentor has supported me through my very first birth, building a successful business, juggling family life, personal circumstances and client baby loss. Having her by my side to talk through things that she truly understands has been priceless and one of the reasons why I’m now a mentor myself.

If you are sitting on the fence about joining a Nurturing Birth course, have a chat to the team – you won’t regret it. They are all super supportive, and once certified if you take advantage of mentoring and work hard to build a business that feels right for YOU, you will never look back!

You can contact Danielle through her website, social media or Nurturing Birth Directory link.

http://www.beautifullyblooming.co.uk

http://www.instagram.com/beautifullybloomingpregnancy

http://www.facebook.com/beautifullybloomingdoula

https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/vale-of-glamorgan/cardiff-1/danielle-fox-3/

How should I price my doula services?

By Charlotte Bailey

Photo of Charlotte Bailey. Charlotte is a white woman with long dark hair and she's wearing a floral shirt.

When setting up your doula business, one of the most fundamental things you need to decide is how much to charge for your services. Setting your pricing correctly from the outset is an important part of your business success – although don’t worry, you can tweak it as you go along, too!

However, get it wrong and you risk either not earning enough money to cover your basic needs or you’ll be too expensive for your customers. So let’s take a closer look at how you might appropriately set (or re-set) your pricing…

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, confession time…It upsets me SO much to see incredible doulas – not exclusively, but most often women – charging much less than the value that they bring to their clients, struggling to make ends meet and concluding that being a doula is not a viable business option. Undercharging for your services doesn’t do anyone any favours. It actually pulls down the amount that other doulas can charge, making those whose fees are proportional to the difference they can bring to clients seem like they’re over charging. I’ve had potential clients ask me why I “charge so much when another local doula (not an NB doula!) charges half the amount?” Tricky one. I wonder where that doula is now; I haven’t heard her name since or seen her at on/offline doula events or any local networking groups. I hope she is still working, but my strong suspicion is probably not. And then there were the 3 times (yes 3!) I’ve been called to support a client at the very last minute because the 1st choice (cheaper) doula is either no longer able to deliver on their commitments or has suddenly ghosted the client.

The thing is that most (if not all) customers want the cheaper option. Don’t we all love a bargain?! I do! But if a client is choosing to work with you solely because you’re the cheapest option, is that really the kind of client you want to work with and have they truly understood the value of receiving support from a doula? We live in a world of dream-boat clients and extremely testing clients. Go find the dream-boat clients and stop undercharging! (I know there’s a grey area here concerning vulnerable pregnant women and birthing people in financial hardship but I’ll circle back to address this shortly… stay with me!).

Your time is precious. Your skills are valuable. We offer an exchange of our time and skills for money. So how much is your time worth to you? You need to start by figuring that out. This is of key importance, and it’s something that is discussed on the Nurturing Birth courses.

Most self-employed people running service-based businesses – plumbers, private tutors, beauty therapists etc – will charge by the hour and use a structured approach to calculating their rates. They decide an hourly rate they want and calculate out from there. For instance, a boiler replacement may take 6 hours to complete and the plumber charges £85 per hour, thus the fee for the job is 6 x £85 = £510. Or a massage therapist works for £30 per hour and thus charges £45 for a 90 minute treatment. This could work really well when pricing for antenatal and postnatal sessions. However, the problem with charging by the hour as a Birth Doula is that we cannot predict how long a birth will continue on for. It seems grossly unfair to put a birthing woman or person in a position where they’re calculating how much your support is costing them out of fear they’ll exceed their budget, rather than relaxing into their labour.

The answer therefore might be to choose a fixed price for a birth package. If the client is happy with a fixed price then it doesn’t matter how short/long their birth is. Obviously, you still need to know your hourly rate based on roughly how long an average labour takes, but the client doesn’t need to think about this.

I’ve been self-employed for about 15 years. I’ve learnt (the hard way) that if I charge any less than £30 per hour for my time, I struggle to make enough money to live on. But that’s LOADS more than minimum wage! I hear you cry. I wouldn’t feel comfortable charging that! Then please, please understand this:

An employee is paid when on holiday, when sick, when taking a coffee break, eating lunch, meeting new potential clients, travelling between client meetings. They’re provided with an office, the overheads are paid for as well as their business expenses, insurances and pension schemes.

As a self-employed person you don’t get paid when on holiday, off sick, on a break or having lunch. You do not get paid for doing your accounts, updating your website or attending networking meetings to find new clients. You do not get paid for the time spent being interviewed by new clients. You pay for your DBS, insurance, office resources and running costs. You do your own marketing, your own sales, you pay for your accounting and legal fees. You pay for your training and any additional CPD.

The hourly rate for an employee is approximated by dividing the annual salary by two and removing three zeros. So, if an employee earns a £30,000 salary, that’s roughly £15 per hour. But it DOES NOT work like that when you’re self-employed. If you want to make £30,000 per year from self-employment you will have to charge significantly more than £15 per hour.

So, how many hours can you actually charge for?

A great starting point is to decide how many hours you can feasibly spend face-to-face with your clients. If you’re offering birth support and working without a back-up you may feel that 1 or 2 births is the maximum you could support in a month. You may feel you want to limit the number of on-call weeks per year which will determine how many birth clients you can realistically support each year. Outside of supporting at the birth, you’ll likely be offering antenatal and postnatal doula support, so how will that time commitment work around any other obligations you may be balancing? Whatever limits the number of clients you can work with in a year, you’ll need to adjust your fees to off-set the ‘down time’.

The main things to consider:

  • The maximum number of hours you can work each day/ week
  • Travel time and lunch breaks
  • How many days per week you can work
  • How many days of holiday you want each year (the standard for the employed is 20 days plus 8 bank holidays)
  • How many days you need to assign to finding clients (attending MVP meetings, local doula gatherings, networking events etc)
  • How much time you need to set aside for admin (website updates, bookkeeping, invoicing, social media content creation etc)
  • How many sick days you ought to allocate (10 is common in employment)
  • Predicted work rate – this is such a tricky thing to estimate. Research I’ve done suggests estimating actual billable work won at 70% which you can review after your first year of business and it will likely improve with each year if you continue to deliver on a clear business growth strategy
  • Potential Earnings (your ‘guestimate’ hourly rate multiplied by the number of hours you are available to work x 70%)
  • Business running costs
  • Fuel and car maintenance
  • Mentoring/ CPD
  • Insurance/ DBS/ First Aid Certificate
  • Accounting and Legal Fees
  • Phone and Internet
  • Consumables – stationary, essential oils, drinking straws etc
  • Professional/ Networking memberships
  • Revised Earnings – Now you know your running costs you can deduct them from your Potential Earnings. If that’s leaving you out of pocket or short of your financial goals, then you need to adjust your hourly rate! In 2019, the average salary in UK was £36,611 according to this site so what would your hourly rate need to be in order to bring your annual earnings inline with the UK average? Having run these figures myself, I’m willing to bet it’s around £30 per hour.

Please understand that I am not sharing this information with you to be prescriptive. What you choose to charge for your services is ultimately up to you. But I want you to be successful. I want pregnant women and birthing people to benefit from receiving support from energised, grounded, compassionate doulas just like you. I don’t want you to hit compassion fatigue, burn out and pull away from your calling. This is a wake-up call. Reducing your fees may give an initial boost to the volume of clients but it’ll be temporary and working for such low rates is not sustainable. Keep the long-term view in sight and stay out of the race to the bottom.

Before I round off, I said I’d address the point about keeping doulas accessible to those in need.

When I launched my doula business in 2016 I was keen to make doula support accessible to those who were vulnerable and in financial hardship. Having reviewed my packages, personal financial needs and availability I aimed to support at least one pro-bono client per year. It took me longer than I hoped to build up to the number of births per year required to make this happen, but last year (my busiest year for births to date) I was able to offer a return client a hugely discounted birth package so that she could secure the support she wanted, at a price she could afford. I know many other doulas who will commit to supporting a specific number of births via the various different charities as an alternative option.

Please don’t see this as bragging. I’m trying to illustrate the fact that, despite being the most ‘expensive’ doula in Hampshire, I am working consistently and my client base grows each year. I am working well within my capacity, my energy level is high, I am able to afford regular mentoring sessions which keep my doula practice healthy, and I feel great about delivering on my promise to keep doula support accessible. My hope is that you experience the same and so much more.

If you would like to book a mentoring session to discuss your business practice as a doula please click on this link – https://courses.nurturingbirth.co.uk/mentoring-booking-form

I am literally bursting with excitement to have joined the team of facilitators at NB. Supporting fledgling Doulas as they take flight into the birth world is pure joy; I have limited ability in enabling birthing people to have awesome births, but by supporting Doulas as they support others, the impact ripples on and on. I am filled with hope that together we can make a real difference. – Charlotte

If you would like to reach out to Charlotte to discuss her becoming your doula mentor, click here: https://nurturingbirth.co.uk/mentors/charlotte-bailey/

Charlotte’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/birth.warriors

Charlotte’s Facebook: www.facebook.com/birthwarriors

Why I became a Doula – Booney Smith

Photo of Booney Smith. Booney is a white woman with short grey hair and black glasses. She's sitting on a cream sofa and wearing a grey and white jumper over a white shirt.

Being the second eldest and with seven siblings my doula journey started early on in life. I was blissfully unaware that I would still be in a position to be doing something that I love to this day and with a confidence that has grown over the years.

My career path before becoming a doula was in the fashion business. I felt I was one of the most fortunate people to work with some incredible designers and to travel the world. The time was so exciting and I really embraced everything about my work life.

I guess there was also a thought in the back of my mind that I would love to have children one day. Hmm! At this point I was never in one place long enough to find or fall in love. So I adjusted my schedule and gave Booney some time. Jumping on a few years I was married and had 2 wonderful children. That sounded easy didn’t it!

I remained with my toes in fashion and juggling my little family. The sands had definitely shifted though and my passion was no longer so focused on the world that had been my life for so many years. My children were my priority and being more mature I wanted to fulfil my role as a mother to the best of my ability. So I stepped back. What to do?

I‘m sure I am not alone in being told by friends and colleagues – become a midwife. I started researching and when I learnt more about what being a Doula entails, it just felt right. As before in my work, I felt like I was in the right place. I simply could not get enough of it and it seemed so natural to walk alongside someone who wanted and needed support.

My doula career was launched. My official training started in 2005 and in 2009 I continued to train with Nurturing Birth as a Birth and Post Natal doula. I initially focused for 10 years on being a Post Natal doula.

I felt totally at ease in a hospital, yurt, car park or home. And I felt utterly fulfilled sharing, supporting, guiding somebody at such an important time in their lives and the learning was as much for me, the doula, as it was the mother.

In these years I learnt so much: Training in Hypnobirthing, baby massage and Rebozo, Traumatic birth recovery courses, researching Stem Cell collection and Placenta Encapsulation guidance.

I soon came to understand the incredible need and benefits that having a doula can make. It was so rewarding to see the positive impact that encouraging words made. The reassurance of Continuity of Care was empowering to the mother and their partner. Although they are the expert in what they feel is right for their little one, ensuring that their voices are heard and respected is so important. By sharing and sign-posting information we are empowering parents to make well informed and confident decisions.

Of course, like in any vocation, there are good, better, bad and sad times as well as euphoric and abject happiness. Throughout my time I have encountered all these emotions and I believe with my hand on my heart this is what makes me passionate and constantly driven to support anyone who is willing to trust, to learn, and to laugh together through their birth journey.

To share such a pivotal and special moment in a family’s life is such an honour and I always leave with a tremendous feeling of contentment that I have supported somebody to the very best of my ability.

Interestingly I remained very independent in my work – I was a loner other than when I was working and this over the years became very lonely. I was so busy going from job to job but with very little contact with my peers. When I realised what a welcoming and inclusive network of very special women were available to me in the Nurturing Birth community, it really did feel as though I was, for the first time, a part of a large family. Why it has taken me so long I can’t imagine, but I now feel very safe and there is never a time a doula/mentor isn’t there to reach out to if needed.

In becoming part of the Nurturing Birth Mentoring team I feel almost as if I have come full circle. I am with an amazing set of people that are all making a difference and that, for me, is what a Doula does.

Booney Smith trained as a doula with Nurturing Birth in 2009. She lives in Godalming, Surrey, and supports doula clients across a wide area. Booney is also a Nurturing Birth mentor.

Website: Booneysmith.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BooneyBirthDoula/

Nurturing Birth Directory: https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/surrey/guildford/booney-smith/

My Doula Story: Lisa Sykes

Headshot of Lisa Sykes. Lisa is a white woman with shoulder length, wavy brown hair and black rimmed glasses.

Lisa Sykes joined Nurturing Birth’s doula training course facilitator team in September 2021. We’re delighted to share Lisa’s story of her journey to doulaing!

I am a trained birth and postnatal doula focused mostly on birth and offering postnatal support specifically for my birth clients.

I can’t actually remember exactly when I first heard about doulas! After the birth of my second and third baby, when I was lucky enough to be supported by the same midwife, I got really curious about supporting people during pregnancy and birth. I knew first hand just how incredible continuity of care could be.

Having informally supported friends and my sister during their pregnancy and birth, several people had suggested that I would “make a great midwife!” but it never really fully resonated with me. I think it was around this time that I discovered doulas through a pregnancy forum and started to dive into the different doula training options.

Before I was a doula I’d had a varied career path! I had worked primarily in the insurance industry as a systems developer and business analyst. I’d taken voluntary redundancy after 12 years and decided that this was my moment to look for more worthwhile employment where I could make a difference to people. I ended up working in a school as a data and assessment manager and this is where I met my husband, Keith. After the birth of our children Hebe and Sid, I decided it was time to dive fully into this new direction where I could not only make a difference to other people but do something that was deeply fulfilling to me as well.

I was at my sister’s birth a couple of years before I trained with Nurturing Birth. It was such a lesson in being present for someone who you are completely emotionally invested in, the challenge of walking beside them and of setting aside your own stories. The birth that she had planned and how things panned out was very different to what I had hoped for myself in the future. But this really didn’t matter because it wasn’t about me. It was about her, her husband and her baby.

My sister’s birth was a huge lesson in how different it is to support somebody that you are related to and very much connected to on a personal level, versus a doula client where there is an emotional investment, but also a distance that gives clarity and objectivity. It is so hard to find this distance when it’s your sister! I really felt like this gave me a deep insight and empathy for how it feels for the partner of the person giving birth or their chosen birth partners: maybe a parent, a sibling, a friend or another relative.

I became known as somebody who you could go to for information and support during pregnancy, due to my deep interest in the whole subject – in particular our rights during pregnancy, labour and birth. When people were told they weren’t ‘allowed’ to do something they would often be told to come and speak to me about it!

I also became deeply interested in breastfeeding, having had a varied experience of breastfeeding my three children. I volunteered at local breastfeeding support groups where I also met a dear friend and independent midwife who encouraged me to pursue all of these interests. I joined the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers and completed their Mother Supporter training before joining the Nurturing Birth doula course. I just became more and more interested in supporting new parents and it was all gathering momentum and heading towards the Nurturing Birth doula training.

It’s almost impossible to say what I love most about being a doula. I love connecting with people and this work gives me an opportunity to connect on so many different levels. I love the ‘a-ha moments’ for the families when we talk about how birth works. I love being able to engage the birth partners in a way that makes them feel confident about supporting their loved ones more effectively. I just love the feeling I get when I know that people have felt heard and seen. Feeling understood is so important, especially when we are in such a vulnerable place.

I think one of the most challenging things about being a doula is when you are asked “what would you do?” On the one hand it’s really clear and simple to me: It’s not relevant what I have done or what I would do. On the other hand it’s a question we are often asked and I can understand why. People can sometimes view their support as another ‘expert’ and so the challenge is to ensure that your clients know that they are the expert.  We are there to walk beside them while they tap into their own expertise.

I think another challenging part of being a doula is ensuring that the energy that you give out is balanced with receiving in the form of self-care. It’s been over 10 years for me now and I feel like I have got the balance right. However, in the beginning it can be a big challenge, figuring out your boundaries and making sure that you are prioritising yourself whilst taking care of others.

In the future I will be continuing to mentor doulas at all stages of their journey and offer them the kind of support that they are offering to other people. I absolutely love this work as it’s such a privilege to see doulas grow and evolve. I feel it deepens my understanding and learning of what it is to be a doula and improves my practice.

I’m also offering ‘Mother, Midlife and Menopause Mentoring’ as I stretch and expand into this mentoring work. I’m really looking forward to be able to support folks through these transitions from the deep mothering years, parenting teens and adults, midlife, menopause, empty nesting and all the transitions of self and relationships in between and beyond!

I am beyond thrilled to become part of the Nurturing Birth facilitating team. When I reflect back on the impact my Nurturing Birth course had on me all those years ago, in my sitting room in Yorkshire, I feel so grateful to be able to bring some of magic to other people.

A decade of supporting families in the UK and internationally in Switzerland, the UAE and France has given me such a wide view of birth and parenting culture. It’s the greatest ongoing lesson in in cultural literacy. Being a doula for me is a life-long adventure of learning and re-learning, listening and listening harder, stripping back and growing. I couldn’t be happier to look forward to what the next 10 years will bring!

Lisa is a Nurturing Birth mentor and doula training facilitator. She has worked as a doula in the UK, Switzerland and UAE, and currently in Paris. She is married to Keith and has three children, Emily, Hebe & Sid. Her website is www.LisaSykes.Online, and you can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LisaSykesDoula and Instagram @lisasykesonline