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Doula training

The importance of physiological birth

By Sophie Brigstocke

Photo of Sophie Brigstocke. Sophie is a white woman with long, light brown hair and she's wearing a blue top. In this article she talks about physiological birth.

My father, who became a farmer in his retirement, has a beautiful herd of Ruby Red Devon Cattle and there is something so special about being around them.
 
Several years ago, when the herd was managed by someone else, I witnessed one of the first-time heifers calving.  She was out in her field, surrounded by her cow friends and her labour started calmly and beautifully.  My daughter and I sat and watched as it unfolded, her contractions coming increasingly regularly.  Suddenly, the herdsman arrived on a quad bike, decided that she wasn’t birthing quickly enough and transferred her to a calving pen.  Once in there her labour slowed down and he decided that she needed further assistance.  The calf was pulled out and the farm workers congratulated themselves on having saved a calf.
 
The next day, when turning this new mother and her baby back out into the field, the cow turned on the three men and attacked them.  My Dad was one of those men. He was lucky to get away with only a broken neck.  This cow was utterly furious with what had happened to her and according to the farm workers she was never the same again.  Do we blame the cow for attacking the farm workers and my Dad – or do we look at what happened to her and learn?  
 
We have had a lot of conversations on the farm since that day.  I’ve shared a lot about physiological birth with my family and they know how passionate I am about supporting people (and other mammals!) to have the best possible birth experiences.  Now, on the farm, we have a watch and wait policy.  There is trust that these beautiful creatures instinctively know how to birth their babies.   Very occasionally intervention is required however, this is done as calmly as possible with minimum noise and fuss.  The cows are respected and I cannot tell you the difference in atmosphere.  It is a joy to be around.  
 
The amazing thing is how people on the farm have changed.  The men who grew up in farming communities where things were always done in a particular way have rethought their approach to supporting cows when calving.  Rather than rushing in to “fix” and “rescue” the cows, they are far more considerate of the environment and keeping things calm and peaceful. They are supporting physiological birth. The cows like and trust their care providers – they allow them to come close, to scratch their necks and bellies – they know their voices.  
 
How many of us know and trust our care providers?  How many of us feel truly listened to and respected in our choices?  And what happens to us if and when we aren’t supported in a respectful, compassionate way?  When I shared this story with the midwife Kemi Johnson, she said that as humans we would be far more likely to turn on ourselves rather than our so-called protectors.  Rather than getting angry, pushing and shouting, after an unnecessarily interventionalist birth we would be more likely to self-blame and tell ourselves that we had failed.  It is no great surprise that perinatal mental ill-health is as common as it is given the number of people whose births are interfered with when it’s not necessary.
 
We don’t fail.  We are failed by a system that doesn’t trust us, our instincts and our choices.  It is interesting that the World Health Organisation suggests that 10-15% of births might need some form of intervention and our caesarean rates are soaring well over double those numbers. Triple, in many cases.  It is also interesting that before birth became so medicalised the WHO stated that only 5-10% births needed medical support. Supporting physiological birth works.
 
This is not a blog to damn the medical profession.  This is a piece to highlight the importance of physiological birth – to bring our focus back to how our bodies naturally birth, to recognise just how we are hugely capable IF we are supported in the right environment.  So many people are losing their innate belief in the power of the birthing body.  We need to reclaim it.  People experiencing physiological birth often feel really empowered and positive.  It can have real impact on the way they bond and connect with their new babies, on feeding and on how they recover and experience the fourth trimester.  It goes so far beyond the “day” of birthing.  

This week on the Nurturing Birth podcast I talk to Nurturing Birth doula and mentor Simone Dyer about her journey into doulaing.  I was particularly taken with a phrase she used when talking about the need for validation as a birth supporter  

“We often rob people of their lessons.” 

What are we robbing people of when we rush in to fix and control?  What is possible when we are present and witness?   

If you are inspired to become a doula and support women and people to have the best possible birthing experience then check out the dates of our upcoming doula courses. We will be scheduling more dates soon so do come and let us know if you have any particular requests.  If you would like to chat about taking a doula course when don’t hesitate to reach out to me on the Nurturing Birth number – 07305 044482 or by email on [email protected]  I always love chatting to people who are on the cusp of starting their doula journey.  

Have a great week
Love
Sophie
x

Danielle Fox: My Journey to Being a Doula

Photo of Danielle Fox. Danielle is a brown skinned woman with black hair. She is wearing a white top.

By Danielle Fox, Nurturing Birth’s Doula Mentor Coordinator

I am usually a very busy birth doula but enquiries for postnatal support have been at their highest since Covid started. I’m the doula mentor coordinator with Nurturing Birth.

I first heard about doulas about ten years ago when my mum said she’d found the job I was made for! I did spend time researching it, but my boys were then only 3 years and 6 months old so starting a new career seemed daunting.

At the time, I had been a librarian for 13 years and also taught parents babysign (BSL) at local libraries, groups and nurseries. I loved my job but with two babies to care for, it was becoming increasingly difficult to juggle parenthood with my career.

I was finding that all too often I would overhear stories from new parents attending my babysign classes that they wished they’d had more support on their parenting journey. Many shared that they’d been clueless about the change that a newborn was going to bring to their lives.  When I looked at my experience, I was surrounded by the women in my family (including mum, nan & aunties) who encouraged me to only rest and feed my baby for at least the first week after his arrival. In our culture it’s paramount that the birthing mama is cared for physically and emotionally. I knew I really wanted to take on that role for families that didn’t have the amazing support that I did, so I decided to train to be a doula!

Before starting my career as a doula I hadn’t supported anyone physically during birth but I was very forthcoming with any expectant friends, suggesting to them that they may want to spend time taking in knowledge before going into labour and set up support at home so they could focus on recovering and bonding with baby. Clearly, a career as a doula was always going to be my future!

I love everything about being a doula. It’s my dream job! As much as I love seeing a baby being born, and still six years later, I’m still in awe of what our bodies can achieve, I’d have to say what I love most is knowing the positive impact I can make on a family. To allow me to walk with them on their journey to parenthood and make a real difference is honestly the biggest privilege!

At the beginning it took me a while to realise how organised I needed to be when “on call” for a birth with very young children. It took some juggling but once I got into a routine with it I felt more in control.

Now the boys are older I would say I am constantly reminding myself that family still comes first. Being the caring souls we are as doulas, we may come across situations that can take up a lot of our time mentally. It is important to set healthy boundaries with my clients and make sure I still have the head space to be there for my family.

When I first certified as a doula my end goal was to be active in my local community and spread awareness about the much-needed practical and emotional support we offer families. I have since been recommended to expectant parents by local midwives and this makes my heart sing! The next step is to open my own maternity hub in the town and run all my courses from there.

One final thing about doulaing that I have to mention is the positive impact that regular mentoring has brought to my birth business. My Nurturing Birth mentor has supported me through my very first birth, building a successful business, juggling family life, personal circumstances and client baby loss. Having her by my side to talk through things that she truly understands has been priceless and one of the reasons why I’m now a mentor myself.

If you are sitting on the fence about joining a Nurturing Birth course, have a chat to the team – you won’t regret it. They are all super supportive, and once certified if you take advantage of mentoring and work hard to build a business that feels right for YOU, you will never look back!

You can contact Danielle through her website, social media or Nurturing Birth Directory link.

http://www.beautifullyblooming.co.uk

http://www.instagram.com/beautifullybloomingpregnancy

http://www.facebook.com/beautifullybloomingdoula

https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/vale-of-glamorgan/cardiff-1/danielle-fox-3/

“But I don’t know enough to be a doula!”

Photo of Michelle Every, a white woman with long hair, wearing a light blue jacket, standing in the countryside.

By Michelle Every

When people connect with me, as they look into training to be a doula, I often hear the same theme coming up

“How do I make sure I know enough?”

“Will clients expect me to know everything about birth or the early days with a newborn?”

 “I am worried that the client will ask me something that I do not know the answer to”

“I am scared of looking silly or letting my client down with my lack of knowledge”

Do you have these thoughts and questions, too? Are you worried about whether you know enough to be a doula?

Let’s start by asking a really important question:

As a doula, what do we need to know?

Personally, I am someone who does not naturally and easily retain information. I can remember people’s stories really well, but factual information seems to disappear from my brain’s filing cabinet. Some other doulas have a natural ability to remember anything they have read; many are somewhere in between.

We are all different, as doulas and as human beings, and the brilliant news is that being a doula is all about being ourselves. We are called to be authentic and unique. However, what we don’t need to be is a walking encyclopaedia of everything there is to know about pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period!

If I don’t need to know loads of facts to be a doula, what do I need?

The role of the doula is to support the client to make informed decisions. Part of this may be to help them to find factual information they are searching for. This is why signposting is our friend!

Our training courses teach you about evaluating information, so that you can feel confident to signpost your clients, whether that’s to the Nurturing Birth blogs and manual or elsewhere. Once you’ve completed a Nurturing Birth doula course you may choose to follow one of our CPD (continuous professional development) programs, such as our Expansive Course modules from Specialist Contributors or our Membership programme (due to launch early 2022).

However, it’s really important to stress that one of our vital doula skills is to be able to be honest enough to say that we do not know all the answers but that we are committed to helping our clients to find what they need.

Using reflective and open questions often helps the doula client to connect to their own power and inner knowledge. These types of questions provide them invaluable space to explore what exactly they are looking for. This can be one of the most precious and powerful parts of the doula journey. Really being heard, really being given the space to set out our feelings, thoughts, worries, aspirations and desires; this is not something that many of us have the privilege of experiencing in our day to day lives. As doulas, we can be the person to gift this to our clients. We can also gift it to ourselves through our doula mentors.

Doulas have the freedom to walk alongside the client and signpost rather than educate, lead or overpower them. We don’t need to have the clinical knowledge of a doctor or midwife, and we don’t need to have all of the answers for all of the babies. In fact, we can never have all of this. We don’t need to. A doula’s skill and value lies in helping our clients to navigate through it all, to find their own answers. Nurturing Birth is here to help you to be the doula who can do this.

Are you ready to find out more? Take a look at the training courses that are available to you now. We can’t wait to see you there!

Anne Glover – Becoming a doula: My Story!

Photo of Anne Glover. Anne is a white woman with straight brown hair that is falling over her right eye in the photo.

By Anne Glover

Anne trained as a doula with Nurturing Birth in June 2015. Since then, she’s been a full time doula based in Northern Ireland.

Are you primarily a birth or postnatal doula? 

I love doing both birth and postnatal doulaing, but the demand seems to be primarily for birth doulas here in Northern Ireland. We’re working on that!

When did you first hear about doulas?

About 10 years ago, I was living in Eastern Europe and whileI was there I came across an article about doulas in a women’s magazine. It seemed so idyllic and made so much sense to have someone you could trust to guide and reassure new parents throughout pregnancy, birth and the early days with a newborn.  I decided that it’s what I would like to do when I returned to Northern Ireland, or when I retire.  I would have loved to have had a doula at my births and postnatally, but unfortunately I didn’t know about them 30 years ago!

What were you doing before you trained as a doula?

I had been living overseas for almost 30 years and was looking forward to returning home. My 3 children are all grown up and whilst I had done various jobs whilst travelling, I now felt that it was my time to do something on my terms, something that I felt passionate about. I’ve always worked or volunteered in the social care sector, and in fact was a family support volunteer with a local charity, https://www.tinylife.org.uk/ when I was doing the Nurturing Birth doula training. My working career spanned from the bank, administration in public and private hospitals and international schools overseas, childminding, disability development management, support work at homeless drop in centre and eventually to the best job in the world – being a doula!

Had you been at any births before training to be a doula?

Yes, I supported my sister at her second birth many years ago and was completely blown away to see my niece enter this world, especially as the midwives had already left the room when her wee head started to crown. I felt very fortunate to get a glimpse of a natural birth, with baby deciding when it was the right time to be born. As a result of that experience I looked into training as a midwife but then we moved to live overseas for almost 30 years… I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason and I now know that I was never meant to be a midwife.

What made you decide to train as a doula?

We were planning to return to UK to live and after having done various jobs for many years, due to moving around, I decided to look again at training to be a midwife. I sought advice from a midwife friend who was a senior lecturer in midwifery, about doing the degree, and we also talked about doula training.  

There were not many doulas in Northern Ireland, and as I love a challenge I decided to do the doula training first and then see if I should look more into the midwifery degree. However, the more I delved into being a doula and looked at the various training courses, the more I could relate to becoming a doula rather than a midwife. Honestly, as soon as I commenced the Nurturing Birth doula training, I felt like I’d found my true calling! I just wished I had discovered this path earlier in my life.

I’ve always been fascinated by birth and babies, loving the mystery and magic that surrounds this life-changing event.  It would have been pure bliss to have had a doula at my births, especially my first when I laboured most of the time on my own.  I can also appreciate the need for postnatal support for various reasons, but especially if the family don’t have any other support at all with a newborn.  I came away from that course full of enthusiasm for birth, feeling that everyone should know what we were taught at the course.  After all, birth is such an important and exciting life-changing event in most people’s lives.  

What do you love most about being a doula? 

So many things!

It’s the best job ever! 

I’ve always been a ‘people person’ and thrive on caring for others. Being a doula takes this to another level.  I love meeting new families, taking time to get to know them and growing our relationship together. It really feels amazing when a family I’ve been supporting is confident and knowledgeable about labour and birth, and the fire lights in my belly when they make informed decisions about their own birthing journey.  It sounds very clichéd, but it really is an honour to be with a family as they prepare to meet their precious wee baby, to support their pregnancy journey, and then to be with them throughout labour and birth.  There’s nothing quite like it in the world, witnessing the birth of a baby!    There is laughter, joy and tears, all surrounded by excitement and anticipation.

My beautiful granny is my inspiration.  She was in her 30s before she had the first of 6 children, including a first breech birth followed by a premature birth, all born at home and all breastfed until 9 months old.  She also supported other labouring mummies in her neighbourhood, because that’s what women did in those days, until the doctor arrived! A doula before her time!

What do you find challenging about being a doula?

There are a couple of things that I personally find challenging being a doula. It’s tough sometimes to say goodbye to families, especially when you became a part of their precious pregnancy and birthing journey. But supporting families to feel empowered and confident is all part of my role, so saying goodbye is also a sign of success – so I keep telling myself!

The other thing that I find really challenging is the lack of knowledge and awareness there is generally on what a doula’s role is, not only in society but also in the maternity services. This is something I’ve been working on for the past 6 years, trying to raise awareness about doulas.  Since the pandemic it has really become even more evident that our role is misunderstood, and our importance to our client has been underestimated. It is vital for everyone who is managing maternity services to remember that it’s the woman or birthing person’s choice to have a doula, and therefore we are an essential part of their birth team.

What do you want from the future/where do you see doulaing taking you?

A couple of years ago I started a podcast (Let’s doula it!) to raise awareness about doulaing in NI, which has proved to be a great success!  So, I will continue will that. I’m also a founder of the first doula collective in NI (https://www.doulasni.co.uk/) and I absolutely love working with other like-minded doulas! We are able to combine our expertise and specialities to offer a wide, specialised service tailored to the individual family’s requirements.  There has never been a better reason to work together since the pandemic! Doulas need doulas!

I’m also actively involved with Doula UK. I cherish supporting other doulas and seeing them blossom into amazing professionals.  

In the future I’d love to see doulas recognised as much more than birth partners, as a vital part of the woman’s or birthing person’s birthing team. I really enjoy building relationships with midwives and obstetricians, demonstrating how we complement each other and provide families with the care and respect they deserve. 

I know I’m very lucky to have found my calling, and to be able to go where life leads me on this amazing doula journey!

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Just in case I never have enough to do, I also volunteer for AIMS on the campaigns team! I feel that to campaign for any improvement to maternity services is always worthwhile 🙂

Anne Glover’s Nurturing Birth Directory Entry is here: https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/united-kingdom/county-antrim/belfast/anne-glover/

Anne’s email: [email protected]

Anne’s website: https://motherdoula.com

Anne’s Doula Group website: https://www.doulasni.co.uk/

Instagram: annehypnodoula

Instagram: doulasni

Facebook: Doula Anne Glover (https://www.facebook.com/doulaanneg)

Facebook: HypnoBirthing Anne Glover (https://www.facebook.com/HypnoBirthingAnneGloverNI)

Victoria White – My Journey to becoming a doula

Photo of Victoria White. Victoria is a white woman with long blonde hair. She's wearing a blue top and a thin gold chain.

By Victoria White

I first heard about doulas when I was pregnant with my second child. I had really struggled during my previous postpartum, and I was looking to source some more support second time around. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any doulas working in my local area. But I did come across the Nurturing Birth doula training course, and that planted a seed in my mind about my future career!

I originally trained as a marine biologist, and I worked for 10 years as an environmental consultant to offshore industries. The work was interesting and varied, but I didn’t feel fulfilled. I was always keeping an eye out for inspiration to train and work in a different area.

Before training to be a doula, the only births I’d been to were the births of my own daughters (and my own!). Both births were very medicalised and were similar on paper, but the way I felt about them was very different. The second time, I had done my research, and I felt in control throughout the process. I trusted my body, which was something I didn’t experience the first time.

I became interested in the wellbeing and mental health of birthing people and new parents, following my own challenging experiences. Unfortunately after the births of both my daughters I experienced a lack of consistent support and isolation, during a difficult postnatal period, and it made me think there has to be a better way. I trained as a Mother Supporter with the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, and found supporting people breastfeeding at our local support group extremely rewarding.

During my second pregnancy, I discovered the Nurturing Birth doula training course and I knew it was something I was keen to explore further. When my daughter was 6 months old, we moved as a family from Aberdeen in Scotland to Paris, with my husband’s job. We moved just a week before the Nurturing Birth training course was due to be held in Aberdeen! So I put the idea on the back burner. However just months later the Covid pandemic presented me with an opportunity. Nurturing Birth had developed a Distance Course online. I enrolled in the summer and completed my coursework and received my doula certification in November 2020.

There are so many things that I love about being a doula. There’s a large community of expats in Paris, many of whom are starting families. They are not living in their native countries and are often facing the challenges of pregnancy and birth in a foreign country with no family support and perhaps also isolation from friends. I really love seeing the difference that having an English-speaking doula can make; to help them navigate the French system, plan their birth, and support them during those early weeks postpartum. It is without a doubt the most rewarding work I have ever done.

Of course, there are challenges. In the first year of working as a doula, I have, like many others, found imposter syndrome to be an issue. I have struggled with a lot of self-doubt! But my confidence is growing and I am learning how to observe my inner-critic objectively (and to tell it to pipe down!).

Looking to the future, I am coming to the end of a year-long course working with Alex Health of the Traumatic Birth Recovery College on many different topics relating to perinatal mental health. I am also a certified TBR 3 Step Rewind Practitioner. I have loved this work and hope to support more clients with their emotional wellbeing and resilience. Next year I plan to run an online workshop on Perinatal Anxiety, and ultimately I am considering training as a psychotherapist in addition to offering doula support and 3 Step Rewind services.

The last thing I want to add is that being doulad myself throughout my first year working as a doula has been invaluable. I have been part of the Nurturing Birth mentoring program since my certification, and it has been such an important part of my doula journey so far. I have felt encouraged and nurtured by my mentor, but also completely in control of my own path and development. It has really boosted my confidence and also encouraged my self-awareness.

Victoria is a birth and postnatal doula working in Paris. You can reach her through her Nurturing Birth Directory listing: https://nurturingbirthdirectory.com/doulas/france/ile-de-france/neuilly-sur-seine/victoria-white/

My Doula Story: Lisa Sykes

Headshot of Lisa Sykes. Lisa is a white woman with shoulder length, wavy brown hair and black rimmed glasses.

Lisa Sykes joined Nurturing Birth’s doula training course facilitator team in September 2021. We’re delighted to share Lisa’s story of her journey to doulaing!

I am a trained birth and postnatal doula focused mostly on birth and offering postnatal support specifically for my birth clients.

I can’t actually remember exactly when I first heard about doulas! After the birth of my second and third baby, when I was lucky enough to be supported by the same midwife, I got really curious about supporting people during pregnancy and birth. I knew first hand just how incredible continuity of care could be.

Having informally supported friends and my sister during their pregnancy and birth, several people had suggested that I would “make a great midwife!” but it never really fully resonated with me. I think it was around this time that I discovered doulas through a pregnancy forum and started to dive into the different doula training options.

Before I was a doula I’d had a varied career path! I had worked primarily in the insurance industry as a systems developer and business analyst. I’d taken voluntary redundancy after 12 years and decided that this was my moment to look for more worthwhile employment where I could make a difference to people. I ended up working in a school as a data and assessment manager and this is where I met my husband, Keith. After the birth of our children Hebe and Sid, I decided it was time to dive fully into this new direction where I could not only make a difference to other people but do something that was deeply fulfilling to me as well.

I was at my sister’s birth a couple of years before I trained with Nurturing Birth. It was such a lesson in being present for someone who you are completely emotionally invested in, the challenge of walking beside them and of setting aside your own stories. The birth that she had planned and how things panned out was very different to what I had hoped for myself in the future. But this really didn’t matter because it wasn’t about me. It was about her, her husband and her baby.

My sister’s birth was a huge lesson in how different it is to support somebody that you are related to and very much connected to on a personal level, versus a doula client where there is an emotional investment, but also a distance that gives clarity and objectivity. It is so hard to find this distance when it’s your sister! I really felt like this gave me a deep insight and empathy for how it feels for the partner of the person giving birth or their chosen birth partners: maybe a parent, a sibling, a friend or another relative.

I became known as somebody who you could go to for information and support during pregnancy, due to my deep interest in the whole subject – in particular our rights during pregnancy, labour and birth. When people were told they weren’t ‘allowed’ to do something they would often be told to come and speak to me about it!

I also became deeply interested in breastfeeding, having had a varied experience of breastfeeding my three children. I volunteered at local breastfeeding support groups where I also met a dear friend and independent midwife who encouraged me to pursue all of these interests. I joined the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers and completed their Mother Supporter training before joining the Nurturing Birth doula course. I just became more and more interested in supporting new parents and it was all gathering momentum and heading towards the Nurturing Birth doula training.

It’s almost impossible to say what I love most about being a doula. I love connecting with people and this work gives me an opportunity to connect on so many different levels. I love the ‘a-ha moments’ for the families when we talk about how birth works. I love being able to engage the birth partners in a way that makes them feel confident about supporting their loved ones more effectively. I just love the feeling I get when I know that people have felt heard and seen. Feeling understood is so important, especially when we are in such a vulnerable place.

I think one of the most challenging things about being a doula is when you are asked “what would you do?” On the one hand it’s really clear and simple to me: It’s not relevant what I have done or what I would do. On the other hand it’s a question we are often asked and I can understand why. People can sometimes view their support as another ‘expert’ and so the challenge is to ensure that your clients know that they are the expert.  We are there to walk beside them while they tap into their own expertise.

I think another challenging part of being a doula is ensuring that the energy that you give out is balanced with receiving in the form of self-care. It’s been over 10 years for me now and I feel like I have got the balance right. However, in the beginning it can be a big challenge, figuring out your boundaries and making sure that you are prioritising yourself whilst taking care of others.

In the future I will be continuing to mentor doulas at all stages of their journey and offer them the kind of support that they are offering to other people. I absolutely love this work as it’s such a privilege to see doulas grow and evolve. I feel it deepens my understanding and learning of what it is to be a doula and improves my practice.

I’m also offering ‘Mother, Midlife and Menopause Mentoring’ as I stretch and expand into this mentoring work. I’m really looking forward to be able to support folks through these transitions from the deep mothering years, parenting teens and adults, midlife, menopause, empty nesting and all the transitions of self and relationships in between and beyond!

I am beyond thrilled to become part of the Nurturing Birth facilitating team. When I reflect back on the impact my Nurturing Birth course had on me all those years ago, in my sitting room in Yorkshire, I feel so grateful to be able to bring some of magic to other people.

A decade of supporting families in the UK and internationally in Switzerland, the UAE and France has given me such a wide view of birth and parenting culture. It’s the greatest ongoing lesson in in cultural literacy. Being a doula for me is a life-long adventure of learning and re-learning, listening and listening harder, stripping back and growing. I couldn’t be happier to look forward to what the next 10 years will bring!

Lisa is a Nurturing Birth mentor and doula training facilitator. She has worked as a doula in the UK, Switzerland and UAE, and currently in Paris. She is married to Keith and has three children, Emily, Hebe & Sid. Her website is www.LisaSykes.Online, and you can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LisaSykesDoula and Instagram @lisasykesonline