Nurturing Birth

Doula Courses | Education | Doula

…here to nurture, inform and empower doulas and families

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Doula training

When will I know I’m ready to be a doula?

By Sophie Brigstocke

Photo of Sophie Brigstocke. Sophie is a white woman with long, light brown hair and she's wearing a blue top.



Are you waiting for a perfect moment to train to become a doula? For the kids to start school, to have left your 9-5 day job, for your redundancy to be confirmed, for your family to need you less, for your friends to validate your choice, to get pregnant, to leave midwifery, to have more experience in birth work …?  

Something that surprises so many of the doulas who sit in our nurturing space on day one of a Nurturing Birth doula training course is when I say something along the lines of:

“You thought you were here to learn how to be a doula …

but I’m not going to teach you how to be a doula because you already are one.”


Taking a doula course is not about learning how to become an identikit doula. No Nurturing Birth doula is the same.  Rather, it is about having time together to explore the boundaries of the doula role, to consider the expectations of ourselves and our clients, to consider what we know about pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period and to reflect on our own stories.  You cannot teach the inherent qualities that most Nurturing Birth doulas have in abundance: compassion, empathy, respect, humility, nurturing.  

If a doula training course is about exploration – about taking time to feel into the stories, beliefs and ideas – then there is no need to wait for a perfect time because any time you give yourself to explore these areas of your life leads into further enquiry, self-reflection and development.  The beautiful thing about a Nurturing Birth doula course is that there is no time pressure to go out and be a doula professionally. Some people take the full six/nine months (depending on which course they choose) to complete their post-course work and then further months or even years before they start seeking clients.  

Doulaing is learning for life … we never stop … with every client, on every course, with every book we read, in every conversation with other doulas or health professionals, on study days, workshops and conferences, in our mentoring sessions, and even on social media!  

I want to see anyone who has that doula fire burning inside them encouraged and empowered because there are so many people out there who really need doula support.  I want to see the doula message spread wider so that having a doula is accessible to all, accepted across the board and welcomed and relished as the brilliant support it can be to everyone involved in the perinatal period.  I want to see the doula community flourishing and growing, and that can only happen if and when you take that step, follow your passion and start the journey.  

If you have any questions about becoming a doula why not arrange a free call with one of the team by emailing [email protected].  Do leave your telephone number and some good times to reach you and someone will call you back.  Alternatively, you could join one of our Dreaming of Being a Doula workshops which give you the opportunity to explore what being a doula is all about, chat to a member of the Nurturing Birth team and ask two recent graduates questions about their experience of taking a course with us.  For more details click here.  We look forward to meeting you! 

What is Mindful Hypnobirthing?

By Sophie Fletcher 

Photo of Sophie Fletcher. Sophie is a white woman with blond, shoulder length hair and blue eyes. She's smiling in the photo, looking at the camera.

You may have come across hypnobirthing before, but what is the real difference between hypnobirthing and Mindful Hypnobirthing? Quite a lot really!

As a hypnotherapist, my first introduction to hypnobirthing was pure hypnosis with some relaxation, breathing and knowledge about your body, which is brilliant for re-framing. A reframe is when you take a situation and change someone’s perspective on it, so they look at it in a different and more positive way.

Early on there were wonderful birth stories, of people whose experience of birth was so much better than their expectation. Those with acute anxiety or tokophobia going on to have euphoric experiences.

Yet, I had a nagging voice in my head that whilst hypnosis was great, it wasn’t enough on its own.

I saw women who had doubts whether the hypnosis would work, or how to use it in labour.  It seemed that many didn’t stop to think that they could labour WITHOUT the hypnosis! The hypnosis often became a crutch for dealing with fear or apprehension. This meant that rather than going into birth with a deep-seated belief that they had all the resources they needed within them, they were worried that the hypnosis wouldn’t work. This reliance on something external took away from the experience that they could do it without the tools, but also busied the mind when it should be quietening down ready for birth.

The truth is:
That we are all perfectly designed to give birth – without hypnosis, and this is where the blend of hypnosis and mindfulness really comes in.

If you had no fear leading into your birth, and the environment and support were loving, quiet, safe and private, you would be able to birth. We’ve just been conditioned to believe that we can’t and forgotten that we can.

In a true birthing state you would be:

  • unaware of time passing
  • awash with oxytocin
  • surrounded with love
  • a conduit for energy, power
  • in a state of presence 

This is where your deep power lies, and where transformation can happen. 

Mindful Hypnobirthing takes this natural ability of our body into account with a therapist’s understanding of hypnosis and its application for birth. It creates a fluidity between the use of practical hypnosis tools and the experience of mindfully being in a natural birthing state.

How is this taught?
In mindful hypnobirthing you are taught some mindfulness tools for birth, as is the birth partner (it’s brilliant for the birth partner!) with the underlying philosophy that when you have prepared using hypnosis you will feel:

  • Calm
  • Confident
  • Knowledgeable
  • Well supported
  • In control

When you feel this way, you automatically go into a state of mindful presence. In my book this is what I call the birthing zone. 

In the course I cover evidence-based approaches to increase your confidence and to let go of any limiting beliefs around your ability to birth.  You will learn about unconscious association in your environment, the impact of fear and anxiety on choices and experience, your soothing system, theories around pain, as well as lots of hypnosis tools to use when you need them.

It’s not just a birth changing course, it’s a life changing course.

What is the difference between mindfulness and hypnosis for birth?  
In a nutshell! 
Hypnosis is all about change.  It’s about creating a different experience, changing a feeling, adjusting a habit or a behaviour.  When it comes to birth, hypnosis preparation takes you from anxious to calm, fearful to confident, and from thinking you have no control to knowing you are in control.  You’ll learn to use tools and techniques that help shift old beliefs and create new deep-seated beliefs that you can birth your baby, and it can be a positive, even euphoric, experience. 

I teach some set techniques, but invite you to understand the theory, why the tools work.  This way you can create your own tweaks and adjustments to the material so that they work far more effectively and are adaptable if things take a different path. This way you can make the change you want in a way that feels right for you.

In Mindful Hypnobirthing you use a lot of short, simple and easy to learn conditioning tools, so that your soothing system is activated unconsciously without thoughts getting in the way.

Mindfulness is about acceptance.  Rather than having the intention of change, mindfulness is about noticing and being curious about why you feel a certain way, whether that’s physical or emotional. Using your breath as an anchor you can learn to meet that feeling instead of turning away from it. This can take courage and strength, but it’s also very powerful.  It can create change but in a very different way. In my experience as a doula, when I see women in this place it’s astonishing.  They are embodied in the experience, not thinking about anything else apart from the moment they are in. Not even thinking about the hypnosis.

Mindfulness is all about connecting with your body fearlessly.

The overall message is
“You have everything you need within you, but if you need a boost then the hypnosis is there to help you get back into your zone”.

What if I find it hard to get into this space?
Modern birth environments make it really difficult to create this space.  When you take a course, you will learn how to work with your unconscious thoughts and associations to create a sense of being in a space where you feel private, safe and unobserved. 

You’ll learn some beautiful conditioning tools to make that as easy as possible, so things happen without you even thinking about it! Preparation using conditioning works well with hypnosis, as it means little and often works brilliantly and easy to fit in, even if you have a busy lifestyle. 

If, for any reason, there are distractions or interruptions that take you out of your birthing zone, you’ll learn how to notice them for what they are and adjust your environment using practical tools as well as hypnosis audio tracks. These powerful tools help to get you back into that focused state of mindfulness.

What are you waiting for?
You can get started today by reading my book Mindful Hypnobirthing. Joining my Facebook Group – where you can ask questions.  I’ll be there in the group all you have to do it tag me. Click here to join (please answer the questions as I like to keep it as safe a space as possible).

Sophie Fletcher is a clinical hypnotherapist and Fellow of the National Council for Hypnotherapy. She has been teaching and training families, birthworkers and midwives in the NHS for over 15 years. She is the bestselling author of Mindful Hypnobirthing, Mindful Mamma and Mindful Menopause.

You can find Sophie on Instagram @mindfulhypnobirthingbook

Nurturing Birth; Nurturing Doulas; Nurturing You

By Sophie Brigstocke

Photo of Sophie Brigstocke. Sophie is a white woman with long, light brown hair and she's wearing a blue top.

When I first became a doula I joined an online doula forum (shows how long ago it was that Facebook hadn’t gained notoriety yet!)  I was an excited new doula, keen to find a tribe of like-minded people, share my experiences of training and ask for support.  When I introduced myself to the group I volunteered that I was meeting up with a well-known breastfeeding expert for a cup of tea.  The reaction was totally unexpected.  There was an outpouring of vitriol about this person, what I perceived as judgement of me and my suggestion of meeting with them and a desire on my behalf to run away and hide.  I felt so bruised and fearful of getting it wrong that I didn’t post on the forum for at least six months afterwards.  
 
Whilst it was very useful to be enlightened about this particular person and it informed me to ask a lot of deeper questions when I did eventually meet them I was left with a feeling that I wasn’t safe in that forum.  
 
I had told myself that doulas were all lovely, caring, nurturing people who would be supportive of me and my desire to go out there and do good work.  I made an assumption that the world I was entering was peopled by those unified in their desire to improve things for birthing families.  What I realised was that my expectations were unrealistic and naïve.  We are all humans, all perfectly imperfect and often with our own stories to process around why we are drawn to this work.   It was a painful lesson to learn, but it made me seek out the people I did feel safe with and put together my network of trusted doulas who I could outreach to and dare to be vulnerable with.  
 
We don’t know what we don’t know.  
 
Coming into the doula world there is so much that I didn’t know – so much I needed to learn and so much I needed to unlearn.  My beliefs and knowledge were challenged.  I was encouraged to consider my own opinions and judgments about so many things.  I had to let go of my own stories, recognise the importance of them for me, but realise that hanging on to them would be of little or no benefit to the families I supported.  
 
It is courageous stepping into doulaing.  It takes vulnerability to look at our own stories.  It takes humility to recognise that there are things we may have got wrong in the past, whether due to just not having the knowledge, or in how we have related to people.  I honour that.  I love every single person who takes that brave step to come and join us on a doula course, who is willing to do the work and prepare themselves to go out and be with people on their journey.  It is amazing, rewarding and sometimes challenging work.  
 
At Nurturing Birth we want everyone to feel supported.  I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to run away so they can lick their wounds in private before daring to put their head above the parapet again.  Our values are compassion and respect.  Compassion means that our intention is always to create safe spaces – on our courses, in our online groups, on our workshops and in our mentoring.  Respect means that we honour each person’s journey – everyone is worthy of their place in our groups and has something to bring.  There is no such thing as a stupid question, even if it has been asked many times before.  We want to nurture new doulas so that they gain in confidence and ability – what better reward for us when doulas go from taking tentative new steps to flying!  
 
Very recently there were some difficult discussions on our Facebook group (the one doulas can join once they have completed their course).  What blew me away was how respectful the discussion remained, despite people having different and sometimes strong feelings and opinions.  More than one doula messaged me to say how amazed they were that the conversation had stayed so respectful and compassionate.  I felt so proud of Nurturing Birth doulas – it was a very precious moment. 
 
If you want to come and join us, comforted in the knowledge that our ultimate aim is to provide a truly safe space for you to explore what is coming up for you around becoming a doula then do contact us.  We would love you to join us on one of our Dreaming of Being a Doula workshops where you can spend two hours with Michelle Every (our Mentoring Co-ordinator) and two of our recent graduates asking questions and learning more about what it is to be a doula and what our courses involve.  Going forwards you have three different course options to consider – our in-person courses (Intensive and Expansive) or our remote courses (Expansive and Distance).  We really hope to see you on one of them!

Sophie is a doula in London, breastfeeding peer supporter and baby massage teacher, and she is also the owner of Nurturing Birth. Her Nurturing Birth Directory entry is here.

What joining a Nurturing Birth course FEELS like

By Sam Sheppard, Nurturing Birth Facilitator

Sam Sheppard

“Sophie, at each course, spoke about what we tell ourselves and what we can let go of.  It gave much thought to all, including me.”  

I’ve been thinking a lot recently … don’t panic, I didn’t hurt myself!  Over the last few months I’ve been super lucky to have been co-facilitating the Distance Doula Course with Sophie and I’ve really enjoyed it.  No, actually I’ve loved it.  I’ve loved the new excited faces at the start of their journey. I’ve loved seeing women connect, connect in ways I wasn’t totally sure I’d witness to the extent that we did, over Zoom… I’ve loved seeing and feeling the excitement, passion, nerves – the overflowing emotional moments unfolding as the doulas bloomed and realised not only could they do it, but that they had been doing it over the week.  They were doulas!

Now the beauty of these courses, like with the birthing women or people that we support, is that not only did they feel like they were learning and experiencing new things, but I did too. I learnt so much.  Watching the invigorating conversations, the questioning, the beliefs and support they all organically flowed with, the highs and lows of the week as everyone became more comfortable and trusting of their companions … Wow!  What a gift to behold.  The strength of community, of that village, never ceases to amaze me.  How it can raise and support, how it can nurture and challenge. All the while holding that sacred safe space.  It’s truly inspiring and it’s given me so much joy I can’t quite describe it. 

I’ve also loved the transitions. The transition from “Hmmmm can I even do the course” to “Ooh crikey I can actually do this“.  There’s a gentle, sometimes rapid, unravelling of thoughts and long-held beliefs.  It’s amazing what we can tell ourselves, and it’s also amazing how differently we can look to others. Sophie, at each course, spoke about what we tell ourselves and what we can let go of.  It gave much thought to all, including me.  

Now those that follow me know I’m pretty unapologetic about being me.  They also know I’m not one to follow the crowd and seem quite confident in my being.  But, I’ve held on to the belief that I can’t write and I can’t do podcasts … hmmm now I’m not about the “can’t”, so I’ve been looking at what this is about and where it came from, and have shifted into the “doing something about it” phase.  So, here’s the first tick (yes, I’m smug – I even put my hand up to offer to write one of the weekly emails for Sophie over the holidays…I did panic a bit). The next tick is a podcast I’m guesting on this week. Don’t ask me what I’m talking about yet.  Small steps, right?

The reason for my rambling is that we never stop learning, growing, reflecting or adapting.  Life is always shifting – it has to. We never arrive.  We never get there.  Once we’re there another target comes to light, another feeling needs exploring, another trigger needs addressing, our bodies need more/less rest, a change in food, a challenge that takes action, something else needs reflection, or a change in perspective maybe.  It’s all about the journey, right?

So what journey are you on and how’s it looking? 
Much love
Sam
x

Sam is a Nurturing Birth facilitator and also a doula herself.

 

Can I be a doula if …? A video blog

Sophie explores some of the questions that we are regularly asked by prospective doulas, such as can I be a doula if I haven’t had children? (Spoiler alert: YES you can!)

If you have any further questions about training to be a doula then don’t hesitate to contact us through the Nurturing Birth website. We have a busy Facebook feed and aim to host Live sessions on a monthly basis, so ping us any questions.  Click here for our FB page.

Click here for Sophie’s video on choosing a doula course

Choosing a doula course – a video blog

Is 2018 the year you decide to become a doula?  Do you finally have the time and energy to take a preparation course?  In this video Sophie suggests some questions to help you decide which doula course is right for you.

To find out more about the Nurturing Birth course visit the Doula Course page, the Course content or Upcoming Course Dates.

Do email us on [email protected] or call 01299 871091 if you have any questions